Vivien ♀ Twenty one (21) English Literature Major ✎ A Gleek ♬ I love you like a love song

I just realised that Britney Spears' Womanizer and Toxic mvs are almost identical. Like, the same dress-up/disguise as 3 (?) hot women, the almost naked dance shots, the guy who looks almost the same in both mvs.

Anyway, changed my skin! Okay, so it's not the brightest skin I've ever had, and the font colour is also a little dull, but hey, it's not the brightest time of our lives, is it? I have never been this:
a) broke,
b) bored,
c) unmotivated,
d) lazy,
and e) slobbish
in my life, and that is saying a lot, considering my slack track record. Waa I wanna go to school!

But enough about that. It's time for Random Facts For Fun! It's your favourite section of the entry where Vivien introduces some astounding facts you don't want to know!

1) Goldfish have way longer memories than the mere 3 seconds people always talk about. Now that's shocking, isn't it?

And by the way I remember I used this insult:

..Of course, the boss, with her memory of an amnesiac goldfish (a hideous
goldfish, I should add) could only remember my name..

And I would like to sincerely apologise to the goldfish community. My bad.

2) The largest living thing is a mushroom! There's one in Oregon which covers 2200 acres. Woo.

3) Okay, I'm bored.

So it's time for a meme! (Did you know meme's not pronounced mee-mee but meem? Cool huh?)


1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says:
Restaurant owners in the city's Chinatown copied them and the notes soon started to tell fortunes.

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?
My elmo bag.

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Friends! I love Friends reruns. :D

4. WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what time it is:
4.00pm?

5. Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?
4.24pm. Hey, I'm good.

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
Cars on the road and the radio, which, by the way, is permanently set on 972. Ugh.

7. When did you last step outside? what were you doing?
Yesterday (I know, I'm sad). I went to the Compass Point library. Woohoo, I have so much social life.

8. Before you came to this website, what did you look at?
On another website? Whee. Facebook. D:

9. What are you wearing?
Oh, good question. I'm wearing the Year 5 Level Camp t (which is really getting bigger by the minute, I mean, this thing can stretch!), the De Ming PE shorts.

10. Did you dream last night?
I cannot remember! But it was something weird. I had this dream sometime ago about school. We were in the Ghim Moh campus canteen, I was sitting with my class people. Then I had to go do something, and when I returned only Chip (or Judy? I can't recall) was waiting for me, so we rushed to the LT for a lecture (it was LT 3), and Chip/Judy was like, "What class are we in?", and I said, "6C32?" and she went, "No, we're in 7C32!", which really freaked me out, I tell you.

11. When did you last laugh?
This afternoon, watching Friends. I told you I was pathetic!

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Um, dirt? Baby stickers from a century ago. A framed picture of some cross-stiched Precious Moment girl (which my mum made, long ago).

13. Seen anything weird lately?
Yes, the hole where the blood donation needle went in is looking really weird now. All red/bumpy. Gross.

14. What do you think of this quiz?
I can't wait for it to be over.

15. What is the last film you saw?
The Wedding Game, which wasn't as good as Ponyo, but wasn't as bad as Pride and Prejudice (the Keira Knightley one)

16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?
Sushi? Because I'm really craving some now.

17. Tell me something about you that I don't know:
Okay, first, who is this "me" person? Hmm, something you don't know huh.
Well, when I was in Home Econs, I accidently cracked an egg into my apron pocket (like, I dropped it), so I was panicking, because I needed that egg. So I told Sandy Koh that I "lost my egg", and she went "How is that possible?" and I just shrugged my shoulders in a sheepish manner hoping that my flaming face wouldn't give everything away. So she gave me another egg suspiciously. And I kept my apron on until the lesson was over, then I brought it home to be washed.
Okay, so some of you know that.
Um. I hate talking to strangers, and usually when I think someone would be boring/mean/not-my-kind I would not talk to the person. Which is why I'm usually crazy silent in camp groups.

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
I would make all terrorists addicted to glue so they wouldn't care about extremist bombings or those self-righteous reasons for ruining the world. But then again I wouldn't mind turning all the greedy money-faced jerks in the financial sector into headless chickens. Hmm, choices, choices.

19. Do you like to dance?
That depends. I haven't danced much, and I really loathe those mass dances. So it's still pretty much undecided.

20. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her? a boy?
Crispy (if I'm on the road to sending my child to a therapist)? Or maybe Kitty. D: A boy, um, Tom? Leon (ugh). I don't care, not now!

21. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Yes. Away from all these. All these...?

Yay! It's done! That wasn't all that fun.

Oh, by the way, all the memes came from thedailymeme.com, so go there if you're freakin' bored! Like me! T_T

* * *

So it's almost February. What have you done? What haven't you done? Well, the first answer would be: not much, and the second would be: just about everything.

And my answer to that conundrum (not really) is... *drumroll*
MORE EVENTS/PARTIES!

Like

TEOHENG AND REUNION DINNER! (which is absolutely hypothetical. I'm not the TH Guru)

Or,

SUPER UNROMANTIC SINGLES VALENTINE'S DAY DINNER/HANGING OUT SESSION! (which also reads "disgruntled boyfriendless girls' night out, so screw the couples!" session)

I also suggest slumming at my house playing Wii so that you can take your mind off how no-life/broke/aimless we are now. Oh, and not to mention, single (which is a bane to Chip, I think).

OR, we can matchmake Soke May (hey, we never can get tired of that), or help feminize (-_-) Choo. Whatever to kill the monotony. D:

But until then, these are just paper top talk about soldier (like, zhi shang tan bing). Ta.

I was at babelfish randomly translating stuff to kill my boredom. You should try it, if you are feeling particularly bored and no-life-ish at the moment.

"I think you should eat dung and die!"
"我认为您应该吃粪和死!"

"Go away, I have no wish to see your pug ugly face again."
"不走开，我有再看到的愿望您的哈巴狗丑恶的面孔。"
Yeah, that is mangled.

"Somehow this is ironic, since my mandarin is suck ass bad."
"莫名其妙地，因为我的普通话是吮驴子坏，这是讽刺的。"
Snort.

"I am in love with myself. Now go away while I stare into the mirror."
"我是爱上我自己。 现在，当我凝视入镜子时，去去。"

"I need to freaking pee! Stop blocking the pathway to the holy toilet, you idiotic fat ass! "
"我需要变得极度兴奋的小便! 停止阻拦路到圣洁洗手间，您白痴肥胖驴子!"

"It was fun, in a totally freaky way, but I am so out of here. See you!"
"它是乐趣，用一个完全怪异的方式，但是我如此是在这里外面。 看见您!"

Okay, I think I've managed to bore you to a certain death. Anyway I visited the SBS transit website for the journey planner thing, as recommended vehemently by Choo and Xumei yesterday. Okay, so it's pretty cool and all that if you happen to be 1) broke, and 2) completely bored.

And so I'm visiting this meme page now.

1. Take five books off your bookshelf.
2. Book #1 -- first sentence
3. Book #2 -- last sentence on page fifty
4. Book #3 -- second sentence on page one hundred
5. Book #4 -- next to the last sentence on page one hundred fifty
6. Book #5 -- final sentence of the book
7. Make the five sentences into a paragraph:

So I took 3 library books (which I haven't read, by the way..), and 2 books from my book shelf.

(1) The blood-red, spike-covered locomotive vented steam in angry blasts as it wound up from the very depths of the Pit. (2) Shadows in her wake, for me, for us. (3) "He's gonna touch them," said the first optician. (4) It is as though Elizabeth's choice of chastity opens up a cosmos of erotic possibilities for others, but at the high cost of accident and arbitrariness replacing her reasoned choice. (5) I took her hand in mine, and we went out of the ruined place, and, as the morning mists had risen long ago when I first left the forge, so the evening mists were rising now, and in all the broad expanse of tranquil light showed to me, I saw no shadow of another parting from her.

Okay, that makes as much sense as Mediacorp dramas. Ah well. And in case you are shocked by (4), that is NOT some erotic book I borrowed okay, it was from this essay at the back of A Midsummer's Night Dream which I borrowed in a failed attempt at reading something literary.
(1) was from this kid's book Grim Tuesday, (2) from this book about faerie and stuff which I never got about reading, called Ink Exchange, (3) was from this random library book Men and Cartoons (which I didn't read, pah), (5) was from Great Expectations, which I bought in Sec2 because for English Holiday Assignment we had to read a classic, and I think I never did understand the entire story that well.

I found this 150 questions meme. If I ever do it you can take it as a sign of mental illness/extreme boredom/oh wait aren't they the same thing?/arghh.

Okay, then I found this meme where they gave you your month and you have to cross out the traits which you don't have.

DECEMBER:
Loyal and generous. Sexy (I've seen sexier cucumber slices). Patriotic. Active in games and interactions (unless SC introduced). Impatient and hasty. Ambitious (I am so slack you could laugh at this trait). Influential in organizations (SO NOT). Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention (shall not lie here). Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered (well, I am short-tempered if I'm dealing with turds). Changing personality (I guess?). Not egoistic. Take high pride in oneself (? Doesn't this contradict the former?). Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical (to some extent..).

Okay, my sister needs to use the laptop, so I won't have to find more memes to bore you to death!

I miss school, and hanging out with you all every single weekday. Pathetic.

Hello!

I am still very bored at home. I have so far packed my two shelves in two cupboards which store all things academic. I found my Primary school English file, filled with all my ridiculous essays, which are always fun (and cringe-worthy) to read. There was a composition on food poisoning, a vomiting girl, a snake in a pool (and there was a comment by my teacher, saying it would be better to write about a drowning incident.. Hello? Stifling my creativity, you are), and my favourite, a pirate adventure, in which I stabbed my enemy, and he "died instantly". Bloodthirsty, I know.

I shall embark on the journey to pack my several drawers tomorrow. Wish me luck.

I am so sad that I actually have to blog about such mundane stuff. Bleh.

Well, I'm off.

Look what I just found on Urban Dictionary:

Blind
transfer
When someone calls your office phone and you transfer them to a
random number from a department you choose because you either can't find the
correct number or you don't feel like looking it up.

Co-worker: Who just called?
You: I'm not really sure but I totally just blind transferred him to some
one in human resources.
by jxb more work office phone calls dumb
people

Haha, too bad XXXX is so small you can't do that.

Damn, I sent my SAT scores through the Internet and the UC people say they didn't receive the scores. Since it takes about 3-5 weeks to process (I sent on Dec 5!) I think I can reasonably give them about a few more days to process the thing. If not I have to rush report. Zzz.

But enough about that. Right now I'm not working, and I'm not in a hurry to get another job after that disaster (and I have to agree, that blog entry was the longest ever). So now I'm kinda just languishing around at home, trying to get my butt off and start spring-cleaning. Ahh, nothing says the start of spring like a little cleaning up and throwing junk out.

But in the meantime, I am as free as fart (couldn't think of any other simile), and I've been thinking of excuses to get out of my house. Here are some ideas:

1. Post-XXXX bitching dinner session, on the 23rd of January, of course. This is some sort of mini-gathering, where ex-employees sit down to bitch about you-know-who, and I'm invited! Maybe we can invite the maid too, haha.

2. Red Cliff II Literature people (or at least those who did watch the first movie) outing! We can also invite some CLL people. Because it would be a waste if we caught the first movie but missed the second.

3. Choo's Birthday (I'm not the planner!). Of course we won't forget this, haha.

4. A nice and warm Chinese New Year Reunion Dinner (friends edition). You know, it would be kinda fun, getting everyone together. Although it would be nicer if we had everyone, as in US, SLACKERS CLUB, 4J CLIQUE (most of whom are from Yunxuan and Choo's side), RANDOM 4K PEOPLE (who are more of Choo and Chip's people from Art), and the other uncategorised riff-raff (just kidding). You know, the more the merrier? But I would be happy with just a smaller-scaled dinner.

5. Blood donation, which is once again put off because of Choo's chronic sniffles/fever, and Xumei's case of cough. Come on people, get well! Should I send you a flower basket from XXXX?

6. Go to the library (alone, sob sob, but actually solitude is nice, especially after having worked in a cramped shithole). I recently borrowed 8 books (while it lasts!), and let me tell you, I've been so bored lately that I borrowed this book which taught you how to make cute animal soft toys. I admit I would be the last person you would want helping you sew a doll, but wouldn't it be nice if I could actually make them to sell? Then I would have money, bah. I also borrowed this book on evolutionary psychology (which is sorta similar to those books you find in the GP section of the DHS library, but more fun now that I know I don't have to read it for GP--actually I've never read any of those GP books..), which is really interesting. :D Yay library!

7. Shopping, for new year clothes! Looking back on what I wore in the previous years I realise CNY was always full of fashion faux pas (not that what I wear now are all that glamorous). I mean seriously, t-shirt with cargo pants? ugly shirts with boring skirts? Ugh. And I cannot say I enjoy the whole bai4 nian2 process that much, because it's always the same relatives I don't know (for that one house), then to my cousins' (which is okay, because at least I know them), then my other cousins come to my house (which is good, since it's my house and they're great). Okay, so nothing's wrong with most of it, but I dislike the part where I go visit those unknown blah relatives. T_T

8. Genting trip (which is more of a hypothesis at this stage). Shall not hedge all my bets on it, then.

9. Um, I'm out of ideas. What about a Sentosa trip? HAHA. -_- The journey there probably costs 10 bucks, then you'll have to contend with sunburn and looking out-of-place because you happen not to be wearing a bikini/tank-and-hot-shorts/nothing (haha, you know, those skinny-dippers). What about a trip to Soke May's house? Never been there.

*
So anyway. What have you all been up to? I know Yunxuan, Qbing, Ada and Jiayi are, er, busy at work, Youbao the FB Queen (ok, ok, I'll not call you that!) is ahem, working, Choo is busy straddling 2 jobs (that crazy woman), Xumei is teaching (ew), Yingyu is earning a million bucks or something doing some notes copying (which she says are endless, haha), Krystal and Chip are looking for jobs. Then the rest I'm not too sure.

But anyway you all are free to ask me out if you all plan to go out at all, because it has become really boring at home. Although no amount of boredom can make me regret my decision to quit.

Nowadays I've been playing GH:WH and watching VCDs and DVDs. So far I've watched HP Chamber of Secrets (in Mandarin, because I bought it from China and didn't bother to read the information. So the dub sounds really weird--Harry sounds like a full grown man and when they say Severus it sounds like Syphilis, which is really disturbing) and Goblet of Fire (thankfully in English, which is weird because I bought the entire 1-4 HP from the same China shop and GOF is the only undubbed one), Sound of Music (I know, I'm so gay right? But it's a nice and happy musical!). I'm going to watch Little Miss Sunshine/The Prestige as soon as I'm bored again (which shouldn't take long). Maybe you all (okay, not all, but some) can come over and watch too, or play Wii. Sorry for the whole come-over-and-play-wii-oh-no-I'm-not-free-today thing, I'm too lazy to actually set aside a day for you all to come over, oops. And anyway, I need another remote before I can accommodate more than 3 people coming over. O_O

But anyway, enough about that.

I've kind of run out of things to say anyway. My life has once again become uneventful (and mundane). Looks like I need some sort of high drama (where our protagonist faces the unjust accusations of the evil bitch/witch and has to make the toughest decision of her life! Will our heroine manage to melt the witch/bitch or will she cower before the forces of evil? Watch on to find out!) before I have anything to blog about. Maybe I should go get another lousy job.

Well, I'm off. :]

WARNING, BITCH FEST AHEAD. DO NOT READ ON IF YOU FEEL QUEASY AT THE THOUGHT OF INSULTS/SARCASM/BITCHINESS/VULGARITIES/PURE MEAN STUFF.

So I have officially quit my job, having worked for a total of 9 days. You all know me, I usually don't go on a complete bitch rant on my blog, only once in a while and done in a more or less subtle (okay, okay, so I'm never subtle, but I digress) manner. Before I turn on my bitch-o-gram and morph into a complete shrew, I shall familiarise you with the situation.

Ahem.

I started work at around the end of December last year (that sounds oddly distant, doesn't it?), and already on the interview (?) day we thought the boss was a bit, you know, bitch-like, but since it seemed like an okay job then we just took it up. So we (as in Me, Yunxuan, Qbing, Ada and Jiayi) started working at this hamper company, which I shall dub XXXX (hint, it's not Noel, which, according to certain irate customers, is much more efficient and organised, and offers great value--Buy 2 Get 1 free), under her ladyship's (whose name I shall not disclose, because I don't want to smear this blog with any mention of her name. But her name, which has four letters, is that of the blood-red coloured gem) directions as customer service officers.

So began my 9 days of pure hell. Yep, you probably know by now that I'm into hyperbole, that is, exaggeration. Because honestly working as a customer service officer isn't that bad, because mainly you're communicating with people which is basically kinda interesting. I mean, you get to meet nice people with a sense of humour, intimidated part-time secretaries who are afraid of getting scolded by their bosses (I see some parallels here, except I quit working under ole' bitch face), irate customers who think that by ordering 5 hampers they are kings/queens, customers who threaten to go to the boss if we don't help them (yeah, like I care if I get fired), and well, the list goes on. But no, that nasty job alone wouldn't have made me quit, because honestly it's just answering calls, albeit with a more disgusting twist. Nope, of course this job had something even worse, something which crouches deep, infesting and mutating in the very core and heart of the business.

Which, of course, refers to the boss.

I shall now list the few incidents which ignited the dormant bitch fuse in me (all these happened on Friday, 9th Jan. I know, the same day, like, WTF?):

1. I happened to be suay enough to answer a call from boss (I always kena her calls one lar, ma de. The first time was on the first day of work. I said "Good Morning, this is XXXX hampers." and somehow I think the vacuum she calls her brain managed to impair her eardrums, and she only heard "This is XXXX hampers", so she started nagging about the standard greeting phrases and all those random shit), in which she asked in her usual rude-as-f*ck voice to put her to extension 15, to the girl who did the emails (which were her words, roughly translated from Chinese). Of course I thought she was an abruptly rude customer, and I didn't know there was such an extension, so I told her politely (or in a fake simpering voice, sama-sama) that there was no such extension. Okay, I admit I was wrong because I was dumb enough not to know there was that extension, but she could have said she was the boss right? If a customer requested for an unknown (to me) extension with as much courtesy as a brusque bouncer chasing away foreign hooker you would be at a loss (and pissed off that the person has as much respect for you as boss has long-term memory) too. So anyway she reckoned I was too dumb to continue picking up calls and asked me to file invoices instead. Okay, whatever, I wasn't in love with that job anyway.

2. So there I was, looking for invoices to file (in vain, because Qbing already filed them all), and thereby not answering calls (and kinda not doing anything, but hey, she told me not to answer calls; who was I to defy orders from her royal highness?). Then I started calling some customers to confirm their orders (because I'm not such a complete slack-ass to totally do nothing lar). Suddenly, the gods of pissing-people-off decided to do me in again, and this time I think it was the penultimate straw which very nearly broke the camel's back (cliched, I know, but it's late (1.13am)). Someone decided to fax to the warehouse this fax without writing her name/contact details. Of course, the boss, with her memory of an amnesiac goldfish (a hideous goldfish, I should add) could only remember my name (because somehow Vivien is seriously easy to remember) out of the five of us, so she decides that the fax must be from me--yes, I know, wasn't it so obvious that the unnamed phantom fax was from me? There was no doubt about that--so she tells Ada through the phone to tell Vivien that the next time she faxes over stuff, please leave her name and contact number (I think she told Ada that.. right? But whatever she said to Ada, I bet it wasn't half as polite as what I typed out). Like, what kind of woman jumps to these sort of baseless conclusions? Oh, wait, the kind of woman she happens to be--bitchy, disrespectful, full of herself, rude, ridiculously uninspiring, gormless and oh, a poor excuse of a human being. Oh, and in case you couldn't make out my failing sarcasm, I wasn't the one who faxed that thing; I didn't even know her fax number, and sure as hell didn't fax anything over to her.

3. And this is a continuation of point 2. So she receives the fax, and thinks that it was from me. Obviously her alert and agile mind leapt from "phantom fax" to "must be stupid Vivien" to "must call her handphone" in a matter of seconds. Yes, yes, I do admit she is nothing short of a genius, that one. So anyway she called me on my mobile, which happened to be in my bag, on silent mode (as always. I think it is abhorrently obnoxious to set your mobile to your favourite techno song for everyone to enjoy, and that is even worse when you're working in an overcrowded workplace which sometimes sounds like a fishmarket, what with the in-charge booming on the phone with her baritone (?) and one of our sometimes ostentatious and decibel-ly challenged co-workers speaking on the phone). So obviously I didn't answer; I didn't even notice a single thing, because my contract did not state that I had to use my mobile as an instrument of communication during working hours, and she had never, I repeat, never told us that we needed to keep our mobiles on and audible during work (and I would prefer keeping my suck-ass shit of a job seperate from my life, thank you very much). Well, I think you can imagine poor Ada answering Queen fitch's call in which she chided me (through Ada, whoops, sorry) for faxing over (again, WTF?) and not answering my mobile, despite her calling me "so many times". I was shocked that Queen fitch thought she could call my mobile during working hours, but went to check my phone anyway, and switched it to the non-silent, obnoxious mode. And there and then I saw "1 missed call". And I realised that little Miss Genius defined one as "so many" (and yes, I follow her argument, looking at the number 1 from a mathematical point of view, it is infinitely larger than 0, and there are also countless roots of unity.. Wow, she is a pure mathematical genius I must say, what a fine woman), plus she had been calling me because it was so obvious that the fax was from idiotic me. And thus she had managed to royally piss my ass off within a matter of hours.

*
And I cannot remember what else happened after that, because I guess it was relatively uneventful and my shortlived kill-the-bitch! bloodlust had subsided. But it still didn't change the fact that I was now so pissed off at her and her company that I was contemplating resigning/torching her shop to the ground/screaming at her like a bloody shrew and clawing her eyes out (okay, ew, no, I'm exaggerating again, you know me)

So I spent most of that Saturday on the Internet researching labour laws (which is quite interesting, and you wouldn't believe how many of them XXXX flouts) and how to write resignation letters (which is a piece of cake if you didn't have to give a reason (which of course I didn't, because if I gave my reasons the letter would be too long and bitchy to be informal and curt)). While doing so I found this funny (and fictional?) resignation letter:

actual letter sent by a fed up U.S employee in Port
Huncliff, New England).


Mr. Baker, As an employee of an institution of higher
education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my
direct superior shares an intellect that ranges above the common ground
squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of myself, and my
co-workers during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are
one of the few true genetic wastes of our time. Asking me, a network
administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you
happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of
precious oxygen.

I was hired because I know about Unix, and you were
apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch
you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the
hundredth time. You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly
simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never
understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you,
even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP
is.

Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will. You
walk around the building all day, sightlessly looking for fault in others. You
have a sharp-dressed, useless look about you that may have worked for your
interview, but now that you actually have responsibility you pawn it off on
overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In
a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else
eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle.
Seeing as this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full
frontal lobotomy, I am forced to tender my resignation, however I have a few
parting points.

1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it
is illegal to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is
"I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the next
couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it
on your own.

2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system,
and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide
to get cute, I am going to publish your "favorites list", which I conveniently
saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I believe that terms like
"Lolita" are not usually viewed favorably by the administration.

3. When
you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your mothers birthday", you
neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of yourself in the
mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are.
Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a ketchup bottle, but I
assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the
authoring of glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please,
I hate having to correct your damn mistakes.)

Thank you for your time,
and I expect the letter of recommendation on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow, not
ONE minute later. One word of this to anybody and all of your little twisted
repugnant obsessions will be open to the public. Never fvck with your systems
administrators, because they know what you do with all your free time.

Sincerely, Ted Brewer

from: http://forums.appleinsider.com/showthread.php?t=12379

That is so wrong on so many counts (including blackmail), but funny. (Aren't all really funny things like that?)

*
And now, being still spiteful about having worked at such a company (yes, I'm ashamed to say I bear grudges, but you know, I think the only way to get rid of this is to achieve full emotional catharsis, which could be done by blogging :D), I shall refer to MOM labour laws to prove how XXXX is really a rip-off. See, I may be a Class A bitch now, but I'm a Class A bitch with evidence.

(i)We have no lunch breaks.

Break Time

An employee is generally not required to work more than
six consecutive hours without a break.

However, if the nature of work is such that it must be
carried on continuously, an employee may be required to work eight hours
continuously. In such an instance, a break or breaks must be given so that the
employee can have his/her meal(s). The duration of the break(s) should be no
less than 45 minutes.

That is obviously a flouting of The Employment Act, no?

(ii)Although we never signed contracts, it was verbally stated (and scribbled somewhere) that our working hours were either 9am to 6pm or 11am to 8pm. Sometimes we work beyond the stated hours to get our faxes confirmed, but I believe we will never be paid for OT.

Hours of Work

An employee's 'hours of work' is
the period during
which the employee is expected to carry out the duties
assigned to him/her by
the employer. It does not include any intervals
allowed for rest, tea breaks and
meals.

Overtime

All work in excess of the above hours of work is
considered as overtime work, and the employee must be paid no less than 1.5 times his/her hourly basic rate of pay.
Payment for overtime work must be made within 14 days after the last day of the
salary period.

The rate of payment is not less than one and a half
times the employee's hourly basic rate of pay.

And even part-timers are entitled to it:

Overtime

A company should pay for overtime work as follows:

For work that exceeds a part-time employee's
normal daily working hours but not the normal hours of work for a similar
full-time employee: Payment should be at the part-time employee's basic
hourly
rate of pay for each hour or part thereof; or

For work that exceeds the normal hours of work for a similar
full-time employee:

-For each hour or
part
thereof up to the normal hours of work for a similar full-time
employee: Payment
should be at the part-time employee's basic hourly rate of
pay; and

-For each hour or part thereof that
exceeds
the normal hours of a similar full-time employee: Payment should be
at 1.5 times
the part-time employee's basic hourly rate.

Oh. Oh well, another day, another rip-off, I guess.

(iii) Regarding that of the consumers, I have reasons to suspect XXXX too. Sigh. According to CASE:

Misleading Avertisements

Under the Consumer Protection (Fair Trading) Act, it is
an unfair practice for a retailer to make false or misleading
claims.

Likewise, one of the general principles of the
Singapore Code of Advertising Practice is that of truthful
presentation.

From SCAP: II. General Principles 5. Truthful
presentation:

5.1 Advertisements should not mislead in any way by
inaccuracy, ambiguity, exaggeration, omission or otherwise. More specifically,
advertisements should not:

a) Misrepresent any matter likely to influence
consumers’ attitude to any product, advertiser, or promoter;
b) Misrepresent
any information to mislead consumers into believing any matter that is not true,
such as the source of the product, quality of the product, obligation (or
non-obligation) in using a trial product, and others;
c) Mislead consumers
about the price of goods or services;
d) Underestimate the actual total
price to be paid;
e) Mislead consumers to overestimate the value or mislead
consumers regarding the conditions on the terms of payment such as hire
purchase, leasing, instalment sales and credit sales; or
f) Mislead
consumers regarding the terms or guarantee, delivery, exchange, return, repair
and maintenance; and mislead consumers regarding the extent of benefits for
charitable causes.

I went online to check for the price of the 700 ml (aka 70 cl, whatever) Remy Martin
France Cognac XO Excellence, and I found many stating the price to be $200-$300. And they had the cheek to put in the catalogue $618? Okay, maybe they aren't wrong on this count,
maybe ordering in bulk made it more expensive, you know, the Law of diminishing
returns (yeah, I'm bullshitting, sorry). And anyway they didn't state the year
of the red wines, which would affect their monetary value, so I think the red
wine prices may be a little questionable too.

(iv)And last but not least, human rights. They actually have their maid working in the office. I don't have to dig up that law right? I think you all know it is actually illegal.

*
There you have it, I have run out of steam. You know, reading about all these laws are really kinda interesting--you learn how to protect yourself and others, it's almost like this cool form of self defense against evil money hungry companies. I wouldn't mind doing Law and learning about protecting the rights of poor part-timers and workers who get suckered into shit jobs, but that is only if I can do well enough, and also if I don't mind such a boring desk-job.

And there it is, the complete rant (well, I can go on about the cramped working conditions, which I think is even worse than that of the warehouse full of sweat, or a pigsty, or I could go one innanely insulting her, but I have better things to do with my life instead of getting caught up with this grudge.

Here I wish my ex-boss all the best, I hope she has a nice life surrounded by people who don't really like her (at least I think so.. I mean she is so, you know..). There are a few regrets that come with quitting the job--I don't get the full pay, and I no longer get a chance to see the two old bats have a bitch fight between themselves. I tell you, it is the most entertaining thing which could happen during work, almost like that of the fight scenes in Red Cliff--action-packed and violent. Although I must say it is not even half as visually appealing as the movie, unless overly made-up faces and 80's style clothes suits your taste.

So I'm all at peace now, may they have a nice life.
*
Ciao, I sign out at 3.20 am. Because I don't have to work tomorrow!

Thursday, January 1 20:16

And it's officially 2009 now. We, meaning Chip, Youbao, Jiamin, Krystal, Jiayin and I had this online countdown thing, then crapped and recounted some. It wasn't tangible, we didn't have food, or music, or alcohol; we did not suffer from New Year's Hangovers, but I guess it was nice in its own way. And I never had a countdown before, unless you count watching those lame Mediacorp countdowns with my sister and waiting for "Happy New Year!" messages as one.

Here's what I hope the new year brings:

1. Good A level results, well, duh, everyone wants that.

2. Better economy, although I really like how there is deflation on goods.

3. Better job offers in the Classified Ads, because hell, I really need a job which doesn't involve dealing with irate customers (complaining about how the adverts in the catalogue were "misleading", and were a "misrepresentation", asking me how the company would "compensate". Oh please, what am I, I'm just a bloody nobody!), naggy bosses (oh yes, I know you have bloody XO and whatever abalone, I don't give a damn!), questionable workers' welfare (like not being able to go out for lunch, instead having to wait for that day's errand girl (hopefully not me) to buy lunch in, and having to answer calls while eating; not being allowed to bring food into the office, being coerced (ok, not) into bringing pathetically small bags due to lack of space). At least it ends on the 23rd, thank god/God (I don't know..).

4. Better TV shows, because if I am going to end up unemployed in the end, I would need those to kill time, and take my mind off my dwindling money supply.

5. Overall good luck for the world, because we don't want any more Mumbai attacks, more earthquakes, more landslides, more screwed up policemen letting terrorists with limps escape, more economic crashes (which would soon turn this recession into a depression, though it may not be all bad, because after depressions supposedly come the recovery period, and the top of the arc, I forgot what it's called), and more disasters (both man-made and natural). What the world needs now is a bit of liquid luck.

*
Yep, I don't usually do those new year's resolutions thing, because everyone know I have none of the determination and perseverance to see them through. So I won't do them. :D

But I would make a list of something, because I like making lists! :D

11 (2+0+0+9=11) things to do in 2009 because you are 18 and you don't get to be 18 that often, or just because you feel like doing these stuff :

1. Club
Although we all know clubbing is for despos who want to get laid/hitched, you have to go there at least once in your life, it is one of those lame coming-of-age things which people make a big deal of but is actually rubbish.

2. Get a job at an Ice-cream place
Because it seems fun. Actually working at those small, laid back (aka nobody go there one) cafes are also okay. Anything which doesn't involve answering telephone calls and acting like you're so passionate about new year hampers.

3. Relief Teach
Well, I heard you don't actually have to work unless you feel like taking up the job, and I do want to try to teach dumb kids (not that I'm all that smart, but all kids are dumb to me, period) without actually feeling the urge to strangle someone. Hmm, a challenge.

4. Get drunk/hungover
Um, it's another one of those rubbish coming-of-age thing, where you get hungover and immediately become eligible for, er, eighteenhood?

5. Donate more blood!
And conveniently use it as a chance to get out and meet friends.

6. Have a sleepover
Which I have never had in my whole life, how lame am I? I mean at someone's house, not chalet. Then we can have a pyjama party :D

7. Sleep until 1p.m.
This is another thing I have never done. I have, however, slept at 4 in the morning and woke up at 8a.m., and also slept at 3a.m. and woke up at 5.30 to go to school. 2008 was a zombie year for me.

8. Go to Wild Wild Wet (which is one of the few decent fun places in the East)
Just because I haven't been there in YEARS.

9. Read at least 1 book in 3 days and watch movies!
This has nothing to do with being 18, but because I love reading. :D And because I'll probably have a lot of time after my job ends/I get fired (I wish), I need a time-consuming, fun hobby.

10. Work as a freelance party-planner.
Who's with me? We can set up a blog, and help people plan parties (until June, when we have to go to Uni) for a small (well, not) fee. Nah, maybe not. :D

11. Write a book/Go around Singapore and sample different cuisines from different cultures, like Nyonya food (which I have never eaten)
Okay, these two are totally irrelevant to each other, and also pretty much impossible to achieve/do, but I'm out out plausible ideas. Oh well.

* *
I shall make other lists on some other occasion when I am too bored/really psyched up about blogging/crazy/feel like ranting about something (right now, probably my job).

Other lists shall include, Vivien's list of Firsts (which would include "first to earn a billion bucks", "first to marry a rich person and thus become a tai-tai", and "first to have 5 children"...), 10 things I hate about my boss (but don't tell her), and also 10 Fabulous Parties to plan in 2009. Yep, much fun for you readers soon. Yeah, not really fun, but when you don't have school and you are stuck in a dead-end job for almost a month, you get desperate for blog entry ideas.

*
On another note, I really can't wait for tomorrow, because I get to see other people other than my co-workers (not including, of course, my co-workers-and-friends, who face the same stuff as I do, and whom I can so totally tolerate, haha :D)/in-charge/boss (in tone of loathing). And we get to go back to the school on the first day, even though it's totally different. Oh man I really miss going to school, which is really bittersweet. T_T

Bah okay, see you all tomorrow!

Chip ★ Choo ♥ Cecilia ★ Judy ♥ Linette & Yingxian ★ Jiayin ♥ Vina ★ Skins ♛ Twitter ☁ Blogger ☢ Facebook ☠ Tumblr ♐

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