Vivien ♀ Twenty one (21) English Literature Major ✎ A Gleek ♬ I love you like a love song

I can't sleep. I slept at 5.30 in the morning yesterday since I was up all night playing Final Fantasy III on the DS (from the beginning again since I had beaten the final main-story boss, on two seperate game accounts) and woke up at 10 because of the aforementioned, accursed sun, and now I can't sleep. Damn it I have unhealthy sleeping habits.

And, if you were wondering (you weren't), FF is like, super fun. Really. I'm a sucker for games like FF and Zelda, which are two of the most fun video games ever. I mean, yes, I love Pokemon, but you gotta admit, those two have way better plots than it does, and involves more skill (at least, that's what I think).

Yeah gotta try to sleep again. Wish me luck!

Okay, so here's what happened. A few hours ago, the sky was all gloomy and there was thunder and lightning; the whole it's-gonna-rain kind of weather.

And now? Bloody hot and humid again. Every morning I wake up hot and disgruntled at the weather and the sun shining down onto me (thus waking me up). It's not nice waking up to a hissy fit. But you know what? I'm blogging on my phone and it's not really fun, so I shall go now. If it doesnt rain tonight I think I would wake up pissed off again. Thinking of waking up drenched (exaggerating, but you know what I mean) already pisses me off. Grr.

Good night! Or not. Most probably not.

I'm still awake. Sheesh. D: Okay I really should sleep now.

You know I haven't got much to do when you see three lame posts on this blog in a day. I'm lying here listening to my playlist (which I'm plenty sick of) and thinking of stuff to blog about. I wish there were something to keep me occupied for the moments I'm awake. That's why I like traveling, because other than the breaks you take to eat and chill, you pretty much have everything under the sun to do; everything just becomes fresh and new and you can't wait to get cracking and do something.

In Singapore I just feel jaded. I would like to read the books that I just borrowed (I went to the library today to escape the heat), but it's too hot to concentrate and it's almost 2, so I shall resist. Anyway my bag's in the living room and you all know I'm too lazy to get up and get it. I need to buy a micro-fibre cloth to wipe the gunk (not really) off of my laptop keyboard and screen. I can't stand the sight of fingerprints on stuff. They disturb me.

Sometimes I think I'm waiting for something to happen but inevitably nothing's going to happen unless you do something about it yourself. And then sometimes I wonder if I weren't the planner in the group would anybody actually become planner. Or like maybe people would take turns to plan stuff. Because even though I love planning stuff lately it's more like checking when people are free and choosing the best date so that the least number of people are busy, and trust me, there's no fun in that.

I like planning stuff because of the whole process of anticipation and creating something enjoyable. I've once toyed with the idea of becoming some planner, like those wedding planners and birthday planner for rich, spoilt kids (kidding. I don't ever want to work for those over-privileged brats). Wouldn't it be cool to plan your friend's wedding? And the hen party where you get to get away with all those crazy stuff which would be considered awfully wrong under normal circumstances. Now that I've gotten over that "I WANNA BE A JOURNALIST" stage (because of the module, partly. Largely), I'm thinking of other career options. Of course I use the term "career options" very loosely, because obviously I'm not a very serious, plan-ahead type person, and maybe it's because I like things to be a little uncertain. Which is why I thought of myself as a sellout for choosing NUS because staying in Singapore is like, the most certain thing I could ever have done. And by certain, in this context, I mean boring.

I am so hungry. Why am I awake again? Oh. Because of the flippin' weather, that's why. To go to bed means experiencing severe insomnia and all the crazy talk-to-self rituals again. No thanks.

And one of my FB friends (from my OG) thinks Facebook is boring. I second that, and would have liked it if I knew her at all, but sadly I don't. Isn't it funny how out of the pathetic 200+ friends I have on FB I don't speak to more than half of them? No, it really isn't that funny, but still. I would seriously consider quitting FB if it weren't for the fact that IM is dying (read that online), half of you never answer to texts (exaggerating), and, uh, well can't think of anything else. So. I'm not quitting FB though.

Since it feeds my stalker needs. I don't stalk people much though. Just sometimes I happen to stumble upon some interesting (or, well, disturbing) stuff which I wouldn't have known if it weren't for FB. Like the fact that my hall neighbours (the seniors who stayed in my ulu wing) went to Taiwan together (my immediate neighbour on the left, her boyfriend, the neighbour two doors down on the left and this girl I didn't know). So fun right!

Sigh. I have twice as many photos as I do friends (FB). This probably says something narcissism-related about me, but I don't know what. I'm really hungry, although I've been eating a lot at home. Dang. Yawn. Does yawning indicate you won't have insomnia? I really hope so. D:

Okay I really should go now. I want to booze. Uh. Random. But with the curfew (unspoken) and the lack of my own set of keys (you'll lose it! No, actually I'm going to ask my parents for keys soon) I probably can't go boozing till late. I am so deprived of mind-numbing alcohol! And my mum was like, "siao arh" when I drank Bailey's at home. I think she doesn't like alcohol imbibing, but you gotta live (and poison your liver with copious amounts of alcohol and bum around doing nothing! That's living!)! And you only die once anyway. And knowing me, I'd probably die without a penny, so I might as well not live till I'm old. I know the whole live fast/die young thing is way overrated, but I wouldn't want to prolong my suffering on this cruel Earth.

Well.

There's an oil spill. Bloody oil conglomerates. Whatever. I shall go sleep. I think the hot weather is bringing some of the leftover teen angst in me. Or not. Bye!

Oh, and,
Day 03 — Your favorite television program

Right now it's a tie between Glee and old seasons of House which they're showing on Universal Channel and WarnerTV (I think), which, for some reason, I have access to. I remember watching House on Channel 5 a few years (or, one year) back at around 2a.m. and found it quite nice, but since I needed to sleep like normal humans, I didn't bother watching any more than that one episode. But it's good, even though most of the time the doctors are spouting off some multi-syllabic disease which I cannot catch most of the time (the Mandarin subtitles aren't much help there).

So, what's your favourite TV program? Uh, okay.

Anyway. I don't have anything to blog about again! So. Bye.

I like reading stuff about Lady Gaga. And since for some reason my RSS feeds frequently show me Lady Gaga interviews, I just read them because I don't have anything better to do at night. I'm pretty lame for a person who likes the night better than the day. D:

Here.

Sorry about the vulgarities recently. Hot weather pisses me off to no end.

New favourite song? Mika's Kick Ass.

We are young
We are strong
We're not looking for where we belong

How angsty is that?! Okay, not angsty, just really awesome. Go check it out!

I'm on a highway to hell? Nah. To the boiler room, maybe. Since it's boiling hot. Heh. Okay.

Day 02 — Your favorite movie

Well. Believe or not I don't have a favourite movie. I love those Pixar/Disney movies like Ratatouille, Monsters Inc, and Finding Nemo (watched it at least ten times, since Disney Channel keeps playing it), but I can't choose among them. And I'm sure some movies with human actors are really good too. Can't think of any now; The Prestige and Little Miss Sunshine popped into my mind, but I'm sure I don't think they're my favourites.

So.

Dang it it's too fucking hot to think! Last night I was practically lying awake in bed, melting to death. I swear. I went to bed at around 11 and was still awake at 2 in the morning. All the while I kept thinking about random stuff, and how I was so going to blog the phrase "it's too fucking hot to think" the next day (that is, today), because it is. Which would probably explain my half crazy thoughts last night. I don't know about you, but sometimes I talk to myself. Like, not like hold a conversation, but just voice out my thoughts, as I would to a friend.

No, I'm not crazy. That's rude of you!

Anyway, back to last night. I was up to all sorts of stuff, like trying to meditate-- seriously, I sat in that would-be meditation position, closed my eyes, and focused on my breathing, like all good yogis do--, and contemplating doing sit-ups to tire myself out before realising that if I did do sit-ups I would probably drown in my own sweat before falling asleep on such a humid night, so I decided against it. And I don't even know if the whole tire-yourself-out theory works. I was also thinking of drinking hot milk because some genius once told me it works, but I remembered I only had cold milk in the fridge, so I had to heat the milk in the oven or something to get it warm, and I didn't want to risk the microwave exploding in the middle of the night, so I decided against it. Then the whole oven thing lead me to think about item number two on my Things to do before I turn 20 list, which was to "Bake something awesome(!)", because I don't think I have a working oven in my kitchen. Damn! And on the topic of lists, I was making a list of things which I had not achieved in my life and that included too many things so I gave up. Which would make the list too, if I had continued. Paradox! Not really, okay.

Hmm so where was I? Oh, yeah, insomnia.

Here's what I found on the internet(s):

Causes of insomnia: Figuring out why you can’t sleep

In order to properly treat and cure your insomnia, you need to become a sleep detective. Emotional issues such as stress, anxiety, and depression cause half of all insomnia cases. But your daytime habits, sleep routine, and physical health may also play a role. Try to identify all possible causes of your insomnia. Once you figure out the root cause, you can tailor treatment accordingly.

* Are you under a lot of stress?
* Are you depressed? Do you feel emotionally flat or hopeless?
* Do you struggle with chronic feelings of anxiety or worry?
* Have you recently gone through a traumatic experience?
* Are you taking any medications that might be affecting your sleep?
* Do you have any health problems that may be interfering with sleep?
* Is your sleep environment quiet and comfortable?
* Do you try to go to bed and get up around the same time every day?

Well well well, let's review this checklist, shall we?

* Are you under a lot of stress?
Uh, probably not. Unless, subconsciously I feel stressed about my results and my unclear future and my lack of motivations and me ohmygosh it's all coming out now, my insecurities! Just kidding, I'm happy as a clam. Really! Okay, not really, but I'm not that stressed, /topic

* Are you depressed? Do you feel emotionally flat or hopeless?
I think I may be mildly depressed, but who, on the verge of turning twenty, isn't? But I'm still happy as a lark who has got nothing to do all day. Really, I'm in the zone! Slacking's my comfort zone.

* Do you struggle with chronic feelings of anxiety or worry?
No. One thing about me is that I don't worry until the day before something possibly catastrophic happens. And from my experience, nothing is ever quite so catastrophic as I imagine it to be. Which would explain my happy-go-lucky, chillax personality.

* Have you recently gone through a traumatic experience?
No if you don't count the C I got for the Japan and Singapore project. And that's not even that traumatising. I think I pretty much expected that, so when my groupmate walked past me after the paper and asked me if I wanted to see the tutor's comments on our report, I was like "Nah, can't be bothered", and he gave me this half-exasperated smile (or it could be a full-exasperated smile, I don't know).

* Are you taking any medications that might be affecting your sleep?
No. I have been taking too much of instant noodles, though. Does that count?

* Do you have any health problems that may be interfering with sleep?
Not that I know of. I'm not yet clinically obese, so.

* Is your sleep environment quiet and comfortable?
AND THIS, MY FRIENDS, IS THE WINNER!
IT'S TOO FUCKING HOT! TOO FLIPPIN' BLASTING HOT!

* Do you try to go to bed and get up around the same time every day?
No, don't see what this has got to do with insomnia, so.

Oh, and from that site, I read something about how you need to relax completely to sleep, so I guess my tire-yourself-out theory is busted. Oh hell it's 2.26 in the morning. And I think once I turn of the laptop I'd probably not be able to sleep again, because it's so oppressively hot I'm suffocating in the humidity. Okay, I'm not. It's just sooooo HOT. Okay I think you're all sick of my whinging about the weather. So.

I shall blog about silences. You know how sometimes you're talking to a person, and you know there's going to be an extremely awkward silence when the conversation dies, so you (or the person you're talking to) try your hardest to keep the small talk going? Yeah, how awkward are those silences, huh? Unlike the silences when you have when you're talking to friends (unless you don't experience those silences. Sometimes I don't), where you don't feel the awkwardness much. Although we all know it's in the head, and what you think isn't awkward may be awkward for the other party. Yeah anyway lost my train of thought, humidity entering brain, killing off brain cells which are turning hypertonic losing typing skilzadkh.

Grr, no, really, it is that hot. My stupid a/c is spoilt and my parents aren't going to fix it since the repair dude said we'd have to entirely change the system and that would mean breaking down my parents' wardrobe fixture, and they're like no-flippin'-way so now I'm sad and oily and an insomniac because it is so blasting (replacing the word fucking, because Koh reckons fuck is crude and everyone know blast off is a really cool catchphrase) hot.

I think I'd go to the library to run away from the heat tomorrow. I borrowed Lust, Caution, but it feels weird reading it in English, so I shall not bother reading it. Rawr why doesn't the library have the Drop Everything And Read campaign again? I need my book fix! I'm a book junkie! >_>

Plus I'm feeling peckish now. Wow. Peckish and frustrated at the heat! This better not be what menopause feels like if not I'd just commit suicide once I turn fifty. Ugh. UGH. I shall attempt to sleep now. Good night (most unlikely).

Did you know that Donald Duck's middle name is Fauntleroy? Really. Donald Fauntleroy Duck.

I was mucking around with GIMP again, because yes, I am that bored. So I vintage-ified some HK photos with the scripts.

This looks like some lousy 1960s Chinese movie where the protagonists run along the beach singing campy songs. No, really, my mum's idol, 刘文正, acted in some movie musicals (which, undoubtedly pwns HSM's butt) where the people had picnics and ran along some outdoorsy place. Uh, okay, I just demonstrated my lame knowledge of campy 60's singers. How quaint.

The Venetian Macau.

Read Youb's blog about her reading some other person's blog which had some line about how RI people ruled the world but ACI people owned the world. Honestly if you ruled the world you still pwn the people owning the world. I mean, we all own the world (in our own pathetic, destructive ways), but one huge oil spill and nuclear (or, nucular, amirite?) weapons and regular people wearing red shirts are able to pwn so many others, just goes to show that ruling class (aka power/control) obviously kicks the ass of the owners.

Does anyone remember watching this as a kid?

Apparently Choo cannot find any other person who watched it other than me. >_> And I cannot even remember many details (I realise my memory is notoriously bad. I have no idea why. It's almost like some of the memories are suppressed on purpose or something. D:)

And I'm terribly slow when it comes to reading Chinese comics, so I'm still at the second chapter of Vol. 1 for One Piece. Oh my I think I should switch to reading it in English. Would probably triple (or more) my reading speed.

Boy Luffy is cute. But no matter how I googled I couldn't find a satisfactory one, so this shall do. Not a boy but, uh, chibi Luffy.

And, omgosh, Chibi version of Sailor Mars, lmao. Her 符 is damn cute.

Okay good night! Have got hot date(s) tomorrow.

Bad news, people. WWW's admission fee for adult, non-NTUC members is actually $15.50. Dang.

To cheer you up, here's some Foodporn.



Omgosh that looks awesome.

Facebook is testing my patience. I wanted to upload pictures from yesterday but the infernal photo uploader (which, without asking for permission, accesses your pictures folders. Okay there probably is something in the Terms and Conditions, and everyone likes convenience, but really) doesn't allow me to create an album. So, I shall post the un-uploaded pictures here for someone to post on FB (preferably Youb, since she's the one with the album).

TPB is awesome.

Now that I'm actually back in Singapore I feel lazy and un-happening again. Dang it. So I shall reminisce.

Top five random things in no particular order which happened in Hong Kong/I remember a bout Hong Kong:

#1 We walked a lot
Which was a feat considering how the last time I did anything remotely exercise-related was in Semester 1 during all the block games and orientation camp. Oh we also climbed a tonne of stairs and slopes, so much so that I got a blister on my sole. How the hell do you even get that? I should have worn slippers to Ocean Park and not my crummy school shoes.

And Chip showed us her lightning quick, zooming-through-the-crowd-like-a-silent-ninja skills, which we obviously lack. Now I find Singapore so laid-back and relaxing, but that would probably change when school starts again.

#2 Hong Kong food!
As much as I don't agree with the 买东西 part of the 买东西,吃东西 advertisements of yesteryear, because we're all broke students, the 吃东西 part was accurate. The street foods of Hong Kong make me (fat, insecure me, the part which never really got over the inferiority complexes) happy.

And the 茶餐厅 and 饮茶 places were also good, with friendly aunties who make Soke spit tea on her Dunman High hat and seem really 内疚 about it. Plus I've never ever felt that it was worth it to pay money to be served maggi mee before, and HK made me change that mindset, because gosh how the heck do they make maggi mee taste so good? NO I'm not salivating as I type, sheesh.

#3 Reminiscing about the past
We did that a lot. So we did talk about the present, un-fun Uni life and Phua's eye candy (apparently she's rejoicing that he's single now, whoopee), but most of the time was spent talking about about life in Dunman High classes, teachers, lessons, how we all hated Fongshit and the overseas trips. Makes me wonder if traveling with people I don't know from Dunman High would mean long awkward silences because we don't have these common memories to share for hours on end.

Probably not lah, since if I ever travel overseas with people I don't really know it would signal the end of the world(!), and we would probably be filling up the silences with drinking games and poker (no, I don't know how to play poker). One thing I learnt from staying in hall is that drinking games can easily do away with small talk. And so as to clear up, I've only ever drank once or twice (or, at the most, three times) on separate occasions in hall, so I'm not some budding alcoholic.

Anyways it's always nice to talk about funny times in the past.

#4 Learning things about your friends
Just when you thought you know quite enough about your friends, they do and say stuff on trips so that you can see there are new things about them you never quite expected. Okay, none of them snored (luckily. I don't know if I did >_>), but did you know that Xumei very easily gets motion sickness (she blames it on getting old), Soke May has to eat pills every night, is easily spooked and wanted to bring a bloody kettle on this trip (was scolded by her mum for that), Ada likes to put her wet hair into an Alibaba-like towel thing and attracts mosquitoes in fishing villages, Yunxuan is the travel medic with a miracle pouch containing pills of all sorts, like motion-sickness pills, and constipation pills (don't know if she has morning after pills haha kidding of course she doesn't)? Betcha didn't! And I put my hair in a turban after washing it so I look like a kachang puteh seller, in case you were wondering. It's a habit I got from staying in hall.

Of course it helps that we are quite comfortable with each other and we have looooong bus rides to talk about stuff so you end up learning even more about people's pasts. Oh oh oh and we never did find out what Miss/Mdm Kheng(Keng?)'s full name was, despite having three people from 4I. You know, the skinny LA teacher? Who got pregnant? Um.

#5 Camwhoring
Not in my camera, but we really did take quite a number of pictures. Especially the solo shots of Xumei acting sexy and doing China-woman poses all over HK. It was, to put lightly, eye-opening. >_> I have some in my camera, but for fear of a lawsuit from Miss Phua I shall not post them. Oh and apparently someone borrowed my camera and took pictures of Koh's butt. No kidding; I didn't even know that until I got home and browsed through my pictures. We also did those poses mimicking the Nanjing 写真 glory days at The Venetian.

I have this mindset that photographs preserve memories, or at least allow you to remember something which you probably cannot remember due to lack of brain power or something. And that is awesome.

*
I wanted to do a top ten list but I couldn't think of that many things to blog about. So, 5 shall do.

And I wanted to add this: I love my friends. Hanging out with them 24/7 can be sometimes a little testing (like really, hanging out with anyone 24/7 requires some work anyhow), but I love them all the same. So this holiday I shall take the time to go out with my friends a hell lot. You'll all be sick of my face by July! Or not; you know how I talk more than I do.

“Friends are the family we choose for ourselves”
-Edna Buchanan

I don't even know who that is (fail) but she sure sounds like my type of person.

Holiday schedule:
a) Pack stuff
Go out a lot
Grow fatter

or,
b) Pack stuff
Intern and be busy and not go out

Sigh.

I'm back in Singapore! It's almost two in the morning and I am feeling pretty sleepy, but somehow I don't feel like sleeping since I'm still kinda bummed out that I'm back in sunny Singapore. Mainly because of the sunny part (i.e. too fucking hot). Luckily it's raining now, so it's not hot enough to make me feel like strangling somebody.

Anyways, I'm sure you all know how these sorta blog posts work. I say that I've just come back from an awesome overseas trip, and then I proceed to post some photographs as proof of how much fun we've had and how little fun you've had in comparison. Then I would give a day-by-day, blow-by-blow account to make you even more jealous. Of course, that's not that attitude I'm having; it's what readers usually feel when a blogger posts something as evidence of a good time and you realise you have no life at all in comparison. Usually the blogger just feels obliged to post something to keep the blog alive. And to share the joy.

So. HONG KONG! To be honest it was pretty much exactly what I needed. Time out of Singapore and NUS and all the crap the previous semester proved to be capable of. It was a well-deserved break I sorely needed, because of all the hall packing, examinations, and, of course, the fact that the internship people have yet to email me, and I'm at the same time secretly glad (not so secret now, I guess) that they haven't. Shh.

Facebook is currently screwing up on me so I cannot upload the photos we took. Surprisingly I have over 100 pictures, even though more than half of them are not of human beings (or, at least, us). I was too lazy, for the most part, to take my camera out. So do you want to hear a blow-by-blow, excruciating account of our trip?

What's that?

Yes, absolutely?

Fine, who am I to refuse such a loving, enthusiastic audience, right?

Day Yat:
Remember how I was blogging about waking up at three? Yeah that was pretty horrible but I survived. And as usual I was the first to reach (the airport, I mean. I am such a nerd sometimes). We checked in, had breakfast at BK, slept on the plane, yada yada, nothing interesting. Then Chip welcomed us at the arrival hall and we had lunch and bought the HK Ez-link-ish Octopus card. The card is awesome.

We then took this looooooong bus trip to our inn (Yes Inn. Which was, according to Chip, really really good. I think so too), with Xumei proclaiming that she wanted to use this chance to make some "friends of our age", whatever that implied. Oh, and rewinding back to the airport part, we were commenting on how Chip had this new hairstyle, which was Sammi Cheng-ish and "womanly with a touch of punk", according to Yunxuan. So, we checked in after being stuck at the door for an hour(?) because the lock was out of battery and Sokemay couldn't use her computing prowess to hack into it and fix it.

The said door. I'm too lazy to flip it so I guess you'd have to strain you necks. Or whatever.

We then went to Causeway Bay (Tonglohwan. This is my pathetic attempt to spell out the Canto pronunciations. Cantonese is a cool dialect. Hai yah, hai yah), and YX was freaked out by the 打小人 scene under one of the bridges. Probably because she offended Phua so often she was a sensitive soul. Then we had dinner at one of those cha can teng(s), with the maggi mee and many people.

One thing I noticed about HK is that although it is so much like Singapore in so many ways, it's much more culturally rich and not so sterile. Singapore is very sterile. I mean not in the literal hygiene sense but more of the symbolic sense. Okay I shall shut up about that; I don't know what I'm typing. Back to the post (which is obviously going to be very dull, don't you think? Like, you're totally just blogging in a log format. Third person usage isn't usually a good sign); Causeway Bay was pretty overwhelming for a mildly claustrophobic twerp like me, considering how it was the weekend and I haven't had much human contact staying on campus.

And I thought there would be a bay at Causeway Bay. Apparently not. So we went back to the inn at around 9 and in all didn't do much on the first day since we were feeling so cui. There was a sign on the "Join us" board in the inn's check in area which said something about a boozing session with some bunch of people who were heading to Lan Kwai Fong at night. XM toyed around with the idea (jokingly? I have no idea) for a while, but honestly I wouldn't have minded going. Like, Idm, and we probably should engage in some reckless behaviour (and by reckless I mean spontaneous. Different. Sorry) once in a while. Because we're still, in some sense, young, but not for long.

But we didn't, of course. I had a headache. And we were all feeling cui having had less than 5 hours of rest.


Day Yi:
Honestly I cannot quite remember what we did.

And now I do, having just checked the pictures. So. We went to Lantau island, which was originally this serene Buddhist place up in the mountains. But of course, commercialization pwnt and built a cable car reaching that once-serene place and now that place is so incredibly touristy. Like, Buddhisneyland or something. Really. They have those cardboard cutouts where you stick your head onto the printed body of monks. And fake trees, holy monkey(?) mascots, tees and toys. I'm just surprised they haven't introduced monk mascots yet. We then climbed many steps to reach this huge statue of Buddha, which was a nice windy place. And ate some tau huay thing. And walked the Wisdom Path. Pardon my excessive use of the word "and".

Many many stairs. Sure, sure, the end is obviously visible, but tell that to five Singaporeans (not counting Chip since according to her stairs are part of the HK lifestyle. Something she said for the nth time already) who haven't had real exercise since the dawn of time PE ended.

Our feet on a green screen. Nah, just messin' with ya. It's a glass-bottomed cable car. How zen. Guess who's cui slippers those are anyway? No prizes if you said me, since you could tell by the fat feet and penchant for lazy footwear.

Shit I'm itching all over. Damn HK mozzies.

After that we took this bus to this fishing village and took a boat to go see dolphins. I didn't see no dolphins. Guess I don't have such luck.

The magical dolphin boat. I really did not see any dolphins, although the people who apparently did were supremely high over it. I think maybe dolphins have some sort of a hallucinogen vibe about them. No, really. Okay, okay, not really, since I googled "why do dolphins make people happy" and nothing came up. Meh.

Oh, and we learnt that Ada does not like fishing villages and that the mozzies in the fishing villages like her (blood) a lot.

We had dinner somewhere. Oh, I remember (actually I cheated and checked the pictures again. Who needs real memory when you have a camera?), we went to watch the light show (or whatever it's called. SM and YX were disappointed because the sky wasn't lit up to be multi-coloured like shown on the website. Photoshop does wonders, doesn't it?) although it was foggy and stuff. Then we had dinner at (gasp!) KFC, where some poor unfortunate soul had to sit facing SM. I think it was Chip? Or XM. According to Chicken Connoisseur SM, the chicken, although not as "heavenly" (I quote her) as the USA one, was still better than Singapore's one. I wouldn't know, since I ate the grilled one. Which was actually pretty good for that sorta lousy fast food. Oh and before you think "What sellouts! Eating KFC in HK! Lame", I have to say that that night we were feeling really cui because it was raining and we had just spent the entire day at that Island.

We then took a ferry back to HK island (since HK is made up of islands) where our inn was, and we saw a social escort. On the way back XM then practiced her S-字 body shape and acted drunk with YX.


Day Sam:
We went to MACAU! And this time I didn't even have to check the photographs. Am I the coolest or what? It was a gloomy day since the HK observatory was right for once and it did pour heavily. We bought tickets from this would-be dubious shop.

We went to the Venetian to camwhore for a while. It is a posh place. Although smoke-filled. Really, it was like walking through Venice in hell. Yeah, as you all know, I like exaggerating stuff on my blog.

I then remember we walked a hell lot, and my flats were soaked (had to use SM's hairdryer to dry them). Then we bought some 手信, and ate a lot of stuff. Like noodles at some random restaurant, ju pa bao, and (gasp gasp!) Portuguese tarts from the shop featured in Boys over Flowers (what a manly name). But we got to St. Paul's in the end despite all the walking, eating and delaying. At last. Although it poured almost immediately after we reached. I think I probably got some details wrong (like, did we eat the ju pa bao before or after the cathedral? And, more importantly, who cares? Not you. If you're still reading, that is).

The Yishun broiled(?) milk was really really good though. Like childhood in a bowl. Seriously. Don't do the dun dan (broiled egg?) though. Tastes like cold-yolk in a bowl. Seriously.

Childhood in a bowl. Empty bowls. This symbolises how we crave the past so much that we devour any remnants of it, or anything which reminds us of it, such that what we have left is usually just an empty shell. (LOL sorry)

After all that we obviously had to get back to the ferry station, but being six cold, wet, non-uniform group girls, we were not great at directions. So we did what any sane lost people would do. Walk around looking for posh Casinotels (Casino-hotels. I'm pretty sure that's not what they're called) which would very likely provide free shuttle buses to the ferry terminal. First we walked to this ultra-song2 place called Grand Lisboa, which was opened by Stanley Ho (supra rich tycoon). After finding out that we needed to have the tickets/coupon things for the bus, we walked some more to this other posh Casinotel to try our luck (not in that casinotel sense). Apparently we also needed the ticket thing, which was only available if some of us traversed the perilous casino of the hotel. So three brave souls (Chip, Koh and Phua) set off on the journey to 取精 the tickets. According to them, the journey is not for the weak-willed and greedy, since temptations were almost too overwhelming (including sound clips of cash (like, chiching!), and bright, seductive lights).

This photo does not do the song2-ness any justice. Trust me, even in the gloomy weather you'd be blinded by those lights. Wonder how much people spend on such vices every year to make it profitable to have those blazing lights on 24/7.

We did get on the bus in the end, since our brave friends were so brave. (That is what I call a redundant sentence) I forgot what we had for dinner when we got back. I think we were too full? Idk, whtev. (short forms ftw! How 90s)


Day Sei:
Which was the shopping day. We love shopping! (well. Kinda) We ate at this Modern Toilet restaurant. It was the dumps (kidding. It wasn't too bad actually. Hmm. Just noticed how long my hair is. Grr).

We ate under urinals.

We then spent a loooong time in H&M (IKR H&M! Not even in Singapore yet manz) waiting to enter the fitting room.

Then we walked a lot. Around Mong kok (that means 女人街 and 庙街), where Ada (or, Aida/Ida, according to Phua and Fongshit) showed us her super 杀价 skills. Thanks, Ada. We had HK fast food for dinner (which sucked, really. Only the plum honey soda was good). I was happy because I bought a domo bag (for my sister lah) and Pung was happy because she finally got to try her Ireland Potato potato skins. That is so Hexun. HK street food makes me happy. Like oily Ramlee burgers and other Pasar Malam food.

I think I grew fatter, but really. Food!

Dang this is a looooooooong post.


Day Mm (whatever):
Ocean Park!

Phua got motion sickness. And I found out I'm actually quite an adrenaline junkie. And that Ocean Park was really quite fun to visit, one of the reasons being that it was cheaper than Disneyland. And there were magical dolphins! The same type of make-people-happy magical dolphins which I failed to see in the fishing village.

Happy flippin' dolphin. It looks like it's tripping on acid or something. No wonder it makes people happy. But really, they are very well-trained. I'm not quite sure where I stand on the whole dolphin-as-acts thing because they're not free, but on the other hand who knows what global warming or harmful fishing would do to these trippy dolphins in the wild. And it's quite obvious that the trainers love these hallucinogen-ish animals. They're like the tree-hugging hippies of the animal kingdom.

And we learnt that flamingos were the funny bimbos of the animal kingdom. No kidding.

Proof that bimbos are able to survive in the wild. I'm not a bimbo.

And there were pandas (and their so-called cousins, the red pandas. More like raccoons, to be honest).

Panda! It's so adorable. Nom.

A raccoon A red panda. So not a panda. The only thing similar is the eating. Nom.

And otters! And sea lions!

And goldfish! Nom.

It's like the Singapore Zoo, except we have inland taipans and lesser mousedeer.

After that we went to Lan Kwai Fong. Which didn't live up to expectations. I mean, unless we were ang mohs or dressed in pub gear (we went to Ocean Park. What do you think were wearing?), there really isn't much to do there. D: I wanted to drink! With Ang mohs!

Ah Lan Kwai Fong, I expected more than the same ol' expat thing! We have Clarke Quay for that.

Oh before LKF we had dinner at this cha can teng where they served this fantabulicious noodly thing. Really. Fan-ta-bu-li-cious.

Now I'm hungry and it's four in the morning. I can't believe I'm not sleeping yet. Because I'm not done yet. Sigh. The sacrifices I make for you readers! You should all send me some awesome gifts for being such an awesome blogger. >_> I mean usually when your readership dwindles to 5 you wouldn't even bother keeping the blog alive. But here I am, so self-sacrificial!

Anyways.


Day Lok:
Stanley Market. Again with the misnomers; this is more of a beach/posh expat rip-off area than a market. And the beach is nice. Beaches are nice (not biatches).

We basically camwhored around the area. Again, really.

Hot legs!

I don't know; I think I really can't do a good self-shot. Phua looks really sad.

Not my fault here though; Chip is too short. :D

Effu si. (F4)

After which we went to THE PEAK. Don't mind the caps I'm just humoring myself since I'm really hungry now. It was very foggy up there, but the tram ride was worth the I-dunno-how-much we paid. It was like riding in a 45 degree time-traveling vehicle. I don't know; I think I'm too sleepy (I think I typed this sentence before in this post).

XM's hand.

The view at the foggy peak. I like HK weather.

After that we went back to Mong Kok again, because Sokes had to get her magnets. I'd puke if I had to see another magnet replicating some HK attraction. Especially the pop-up type.

We had more street food! And we walked the streets of Mong Kok until approximately midnight. I'm a night person, because somehow you just feel more alive when everyone else is asleep and you know that you're living and breathing. I probably don't make any sense since I'm kinda on auto-pilot mode now. Only the really good bloggers have an auto-pilot mode.

I splurged on random stuff, because I'm an impulsive buyer (I'm an impulsive person, sometimes. When it comes to some things. Um. I'm also very vague and indecisive. And sleepy).


Day Qi(?):
The last day (today/yesterday/whatever!), when we went to 黄大仙 (aside: To find that phrase I had to type "yellow big cactus" into Google translate, since for some reason they don't use the word 仙 for deities or goddesses. So I got "黄大仙人掌") to 求签. You can read Chip's blog entry for her 签 results. I didn't particularly 求 for a 因缘签, but rather a future 签, athough I'm sure somewhere in my subconscious psyche something along the lines of an 因缘签 was requested. Anyway, I got a 上上前途签. Not that it helps me now since I'm basically still an unmotivated slacker. Apparently I would meet a 贵人. And I'm also supposedly 坦白, 不贪心, 和善 or something like that.

Anyway, before I enter some narcissistic phase over here, I shall thank Chip and her mum for the yum cha brunch! On a related note, I've never had chicken feet before and it really isn't as gross as I expected. In fact it was kinda good. Reminds me of Buckbeak eating chicken legs after Sirius was done with the meat. So I guess it still grosses me out some.

So. We then went to the airport and came home. And here I am, blogging. And I probably should sleep. Shit it's 5 already?

This is a really looooooooong post, as I've said. And I'm not even done bragging blogging about HK! Tomorrow or something, then. Goodnight people! :D

Yay, hiong kong!

Hello!

This is crazy. I'm sitting in my almost bare room with four bulky items to lug home and I have no inclination to get out of the room at all. I am going to miss the convenience of the room terribly. And the fact that I have a high-powered ceiling fan all to myself. Sometimes I forget why I don't just stay on next year (because if I sign up for rag I'd sure have enough points to stay on for another year, but then my entire holiday would be burned. I could also have signed up for orientation camp, which would actually be quite fun), then I'd remember how they crazily upped the price of hostel rooms to $90 per week, like, wtf? And I don't think I could live with another year of responsibilities and obligations to people I don't particularly want to hang out with that much.

Guess what?

I'm still languishing in my hostel room. I've decided to heck with it; if I can't manage to lug all my stuff home on a bus, I shall splurge and take a taxi on Friday. And yes, I've changed my blogskin! Just as I promised. Actually I'm just a bit sick of looking at the whole mess of words and fonts and black/grey/white layout. I know, you think this is pretty much the same, but it's not! See that icon I got from some tumblog? It has colour.

Tumblr is awesome, if you're into scopophilia and stuff. Although I have to say some bloggers on Tumblr are really just graphics-inclined, angsty teenagers. Glad we're over that, aren't we?

Anyway I wanted to change my tagboard from a cbox one to a shoutmix one, because the cbox one is ridiculous with all the stupid advertisements. But I was too lazy.

Lately I've been obsessed with very interested in words. As you can see from my links. And I don't randomly choose words - each word has some relevance to the link. Well, except maybe the hyperlink to burplefrog, which is just simply too awesome to not include. And it is also quite apt, if I do say so myself. If you are suddenly struck by a case of logolepsy, you could visit this site for your word fix. And, if on the off chance you find that you're perfectly normal and not struck with this sort of crazy (but believe me, I know you're crazy in some other way), you could simply ignore the links above. And drink some lemonade. Wish I had some.

Last night I was craving bacon. I don't know where to get bacon, other than hotel breakfasts. D:

I like looking at pretty girls. Too bad there's a shortage of them in NUS (what more can I say about the guys? I don't mean like pretty guys, just good-looking ones). I know, I know I said all that stuff about not being judgmental, but I just want to have some eye-candy, is that so wrong? And by no means am I gay (nothing wrong with that though), I just like looking at pretty things/girls/people.

Oh don't give me that objectification of women crap. That only works in literature essays and feminist arguments (and I'm not a feminist. Chip is a feminist).

Anyways I have a gripe about FASS girls. I know they're supposed to be really pretty and well-dressed (at least the stereotype says so), but so far I haven't really seen exceptionally pretty ones. I personally know a few who are really quite pretty, but not breathtakingly so. Is it too much to ask to see a beautiful (on the outside) person once in a while? Yeah okay actually the last few sentences were nonsense. The real gripe is that most of the so-called pretty girls in FASS look exactly the same. Really. The pouf-hair (like Snooki's pouf), the denim shorts, the floaty-material-type blouses, the gladiator sandals or whatchamacallits. Maybe I'm seeing the same person around a lot or something, but I get this feeling that this is the pretty girl uniform for FASS. And if it's not the clone sistas I'm seeing then it's those who put on layers of pancake makeup (though honestly I don't see too many of those) or disastrous colours onto their faces, which probably would look non-garish in the dim lighting of pubs or the smoky interior of clubs (I don't know how they make the mist. Dry ice?), but in broad daylight they look like killer clowns hoping to wreak havoc upon Earth. I mean some people can probably pull off the blue shimmery eyeliner+too much blush look, but it's not you, honey.

Why am I so bitchy today?

Must be the lack of sleep, huh.

Okay, in reality I'm fine with the clone sistas, since to each his/her own (though this may not be apparent from the similar clothing), I just don't like people who put on too much makeup. I know, free world, do what you want, but other people have eyes too, in case it wasn't obvious, and we would appreciate not being subjected to this sort of horror.

Eh, who knows, maybe I'm just jealous since I look horrible in make up (I would know, I'm from choir). But no, really, I prefer the natural look on girls (and guys, preferably lol). Right now, if you're questioning my sexuality, I'd like to assure you that I'm not interested in girls that way so you're probably safe. And I wouldn't like you anyway if you think me blogging about how I like to look at pretty girls means that I like girls. Bigot! (I'm kidding. About the bigot thing. Not the I don't like girls that way thing. Okay I shall shut up now)

And one year in University I still haven't made any (openly) gay friends. Not that I think it's a big deal or anything, but it'd be nice to know if they saw the world differently. Glee's Kurt seems like an interesting person. Yeah it's just a show, but he acts really well. Um. That didn't make sense. Whatever.

I like using icons. You could do a lot with the alt+numpad. ☺☻♥♦♣♠•◘○◙♂♀♪♫☼►◄↕‼¶ That's alt+(1 to 20), in case you were wondering. Yes my life is simply too exciting for words.

Anyway, it's SUMMER! In case you didn't know. I want to plan the most awesometastic, fundelicious outings ever. I can dream, can't I?

So I need your opinions. Would you like to go to Sentosa (in my head I call this outing SENTOSAPALOOZA!)? Or go on a picnic? Or bake cupcakes somewhere? Or have a sleepover? I know you'd want Guitar Hero and I'm all up for it but the summer holidays are long and that means we can go out a lot (that is, if I don't count in the internship. They didn't contact me but I emailed the person yesterday. I must be honest and say that part of me wouldn't mind at all if they decide to ignore me so I'd have the entire holidays to my unproductive self). Actually we can do everything I listed. I want to go to Sentosa, partly because I haven't really been outdoors and I've always had a soft spot for water and sand (not volleyball though. I don't like volleyball. At all. Probably has something to do with Mr. Siva and the fact that I cannot serve a volleyball, ever). And I want to get a tan (or get sunburned).

Ah summer. The smell of doing nothing! The feeling you get when you walk in the sunshine (the feeling of being grilled alive)! The sleepy air and the lazing around (while cursing at the humidity)! Eating ice-lollies (or just eating ice. Really) and watching TV all day! Reading tonnes of books because you visit the library so much just to get some air-con action! Using exclamation points because you're not well-versed enough in the art of conveying textual emotions!

Well, you get the point. Slight sarcasms about the weather aside I really can't wait for the break to officially start (that is, after I'm done with all this packing crap). Gah.

It's almost three. I guess I should be preparing to go home now. And Teoheng tomorrow zomg zomg zomg AT LAST! :D Okay, ciao.

PS. One thing summer reminds me of is the summer sun, which is turn reminds me of the song "Fields of gold", which we sang for a choir performance. I freakin' didn't know Sting and Police covered the song. I thought it was the corniest song ever (even though technically the song was about fields of barley and not corn heh). And here's the song in all its corny barley glory:

Fields of Gold

You'll remember me when the west wind moves
Upon the fields of barley
You'll forget the sun in his jealous sky
As we walk in fields of gold
So she took her love for to gaze awhile
Upon the fields of barley
In his arms she fell as her hair came down
Among the fields of gold

Will you stay with me, will you be my love
Among the fields of barley?
We'll forget the sun in his jealous sky
As we lie in fields of gold
See the west wind move like a lover so
Upon the fields of barley
Feel her body rise when you kiss her mouth
Among the fields of gold

I never made promises lightly
And there have been some that I've broken
But I swear in the days still left
We'll walk in fields of gold
We'll walk in fields of gold

Many years have passed since those summer days
Among the fields of barley
See the children run as the sun goes down
Among the fields of gold
You'll remember me when the west wind moves
Upon the fields of barley
You can tell the sun in his jealous sky
When we walked in fields of gold
When we walked in fields of gold
When we walked in fields of gold

Told you it was corny.

500th post! Wow, my life must really be empty, huh? And why am I up so early? It's barely 9 and I set my alarm for 9.25. Worst still, I woke at up freakin' 7.45 in the morning even though I slept at three.

There's something wrong with my body clock. Either that or I'm really stressed out by all the packing stuff that I can't even get a good night's sleep. Tragic. I'm hungry T_T I'll probably have some breakfast (Milo+biscuits!) so I don't faint lugging all the shit home. Not that I'm one to faint. Which reminds me of yesterday; I met Xumei for a haircut after she donated blood, and she was all groggy and faint. Then after she felt less faint we went to Cut and Curl and found out that it closes on Tuesdays. Bummer. So I'm stuck with my big messy hair and uneven fringe for now. It's no joke; sometimes at night when the air is stifling and the temperature hits 32 degrees you feel as though your hair is trying to suffocate you. And then when it's humid your hair starts feeling all damp. It's not a nice feeling.

I just read this article talking about how business writing is so nondescript and boring (soul-crushingly so). With terms such as "full-service solutions provider", and "provider of value-added services". It's true though - it's like those writers and PR people are so bored by their 9-5 desk-bound lives that they don't even bother anymore. Either that or it's the case of how some stuff become so mainstream that it forms a template.

Is that how I'm going to live my life next time? You know how I keep saying stuff like I don't want to be a commuting, rude, pragmatic, selfish (whoa just kinda lost track of what I wanted to say) OL next time - not that all OLs are like that, I'm sure, but the majority or visible minority of them are, and that's off-putting -, but what if I become one of them next time? What if all this idealistic resistance is unrealizable and I end up turning into one of those faceless people who work for the Man and earn their keep while selling out to companies that care only about their net profit? I don't want a life like that. I don't want to be buried in meaningless paperwork surrounded by people I don't care about and living a life so that I'd have enough to get by in terms of the material. I want something more, but even I don't know what the hell I want in life.

It'll be nice to have money and buy the things I want to, but then I've come to the realization that I don't need material stuff to be happy. Sure, I love shopping and all that but I guess wearing the same things almost everyday has taught me to be comfortable in my own skin, because you don't need flashy clothes (flashy not in the bling sense but rather in the "I-FOLLOW-TRENDS-LOOK-AT-ME" sense) and an up-to-date wardrobe to feel confident about yourself. I'm not denying that it's great to have nice clothes, because every girl (I mean, other than Choo, whom I secretly admire for being able to feel absolutely comfortable with herself wearing those big shirts and bathroom slippers in her nonchalant hobo fashion. Not even being sarcastic) wants to feel (and look) a million dollars. But you don't need to keep having new clothes to do that. One thing I've learnt is that when you think you're confident, you can't help but feel confident, and people probably can see that. No, really:

"Fake it. Along the same lines of smiling to make yourself feel happy, acting confident might actually make you believe it. Pretend you're a completely confident version of you; go through the motions and see how you feel!" (wikihow)

Despite the rather cheesy prose used in that last sentence, you have to agree that it is true. I think I'm rethinking my stand on clothes now because my sister (as much as I love her) is obsessed with new clothes and dressing up. Nothing wrong with wanting to look pretty and creating a whole new image since she just started school in poly, but I guess there's a fine line between obsession and interest and it just seems to me like she places too much importance on her looks and the way she dresses. And her hair oh gosh don't get me started on her obsession with her hair. I'd pray (even though I'm not religious at all) for anyone who messes up her hair because she's absolutely neurotic about it, with all her hair products and brushes.

I don't know if this has anything to do with the fact that I used to be a tomboy who wore berms and surfing wear (I forgot what those hideous pants are called. Oh. Board shorts) almost everyday of my life, and who had sideburns in secondary school (can you fucking believe the hairdresser shaved that sideburn-ey part and gave me a stubbly sideburn? Seriously? Although I think my mum had a part to play in that too. I have to admit, it's fun to run your finger along the stubbly sideburns D:). You know how they say your sibling chooses to do everything opposite to what you do. Probably why she's not that into literature, reading (like, really. She doesn't like reading much. I mean she occasionally reads chick lit, but not like reading? That's blasphemous! Okay, it's not, but still), going to JC (honestly), yeah well I've run out of examples. So that hypothesis is probably wrong. Um. But she's really different from me in terms of ideology and attitude. She studies hard (a quality I completely lack, sadly), she's popular (I'm not. Honestly, I'm surprised that my awkward social demeanour didn't make me a friendless social outcast. I really don't know how to deal with people I don't know - like, if someone compliments me (for reasons I can't fathom) on something, I don't know what to do, so I grimace a bit and mutter "thanks", or if something becomes too unbearably awkward I'd stutter a bit and try to change the subject), she has guy friends (okay, granted I have guy friends too, but not in Secondary school/JC. I used to think I repelled guys or something), she's always the pretty, thin one (while I'm the fat, ugly sister of hers. To relatives, I mean. And that probably caused me to disregard how I look and dress like a boy. Come to think of it I've only very recently come to terms with the fact that maybe I'm not merely this fat girl whom no one really likes. By recently I mean when I was in Sec4 or something. And I used to think I was ugly and boring and hopelessly unlikeable most of the time, when I'm not with friends (because being with friends make you forget all that)), and she's always the cooler one, probably due to the fact that she's not in a "top" school and that makes me seem as though I'm a bookish nerd who studies all the time and she's nonchalant about her grades (yeah, I may be bookish, but I don't study a lot. At all. So screw that).

Shit why's this turning into a gripe-fest listing all the reasons I'm such a maladjusted neurotic person? But it's nice to conduct such fake psycho-analyses (really. Plural of analysis=analyses) on myself. It's made me realize that many of my insecurities (about weight, and how I look, among other screwed up stuff) began with those annual Chinese New Year visits to my uncles' and aunties' houses. For as long as I could remember there had always been this uncle who constantly commented on my inability to lose weight, or how fat I was, even though I was probably only freakin' 7 years old. Way to instill a sense of inferiority, uncle I-dunno-your-name-or-surname! And then there were those random people who always commented on how I was so fat compared to my sister, and how I must be eating those stuff my sister didn't want to eat. Come to think of it it's a wonder I wasn't anorexic/bulimic after those disparaging comments. I remember grimacing a lot, that's all. And giving those fake laughs. And it's surprising how I still can remember all this so many years after; adults really shouldn't make such flippant comments, because as stupid as a child may look, it is going to register in their minds and scar them for a long time. I remember my mother used to berate me for being such a tomboy, and forcing me to wear skirts during CNY. My mindset at that time was that since I'm not the pretty, likeable one, why should I bother pretending with all the skirts and girly stuff?

Of course it got worse in the Sec1/2 onset-of-puberty years, when I was in my full-blown board shorts years. And you know how during those times everybody behaved like pricks (especially guys. No offense (though I'm sure no one I knew then reads this), but 13/14 year old guys are absolutely horrid - they bully and make fun of people, and behave in the most obnoxious manner). I probably managed to escape unscathed because there were more obvious targets to bully in my class (and because I preferred to stay invisible), unfortunately. You probably know who I'm talking about; I was from 2A in case you didn't know, and that was where the worst-hit victims of bullying were situated. I guess we're all implicit in the bullying, either because we were the bullies, we laughed along, or we didn't do anything about it.

I believe that humans are not inherently evil (I actually buy the whole 人之初 性本善 thing), but we are inherently ignorant and stupid and selfish, and because of that we probably commit evil unknowingly, or even when we think we're doing the right thing (because really, I don't think Hitler knew or thought he was being evil, even though it is/was obvious to everyone else. He probably turned nuts after he failed as an artist). Hm, I've run out of steam to keep moaning about how my childhood insecurities and inferiority complexes. Obviously it's not all that bad - I remember getting angbaos (till now this is the only reason I'd ever want to visit that house), and having this cool aunt in another house who acknowledged that I was fat but was really cool in the sense that she was all liberal, accepting and stuff (I don't know, kinda like a hippie?), and friends who didn't make me feel like a sad lump (because in Primary school nobody judged. It's like a hippie community really, except you have to do homework). Plus, being an ex-tomboy really gives you a whole new perspective and learn not to place too much importance on how one dresses and looks. Although I cannot honestly say I don't judge people based on that, I know that there's more to someone than the way they dress or look.

But I'd have to constantly remind myself about that, because it's kinda instinctual to judge people based on first impressions. And I just organized all these opinions today, so I'll probably have to take some time to practice what I preach. Sheesh. I'm still pretty much a superficial bitch person. Oh, another thing is that I've finally come to terms that I was jealous of my sister because of the way the relatives behaved. I really don't have nice relatives that side of the family, minus the cool hippie aunt. It wasn't easy growing up hearing that you're fat and thinking that you're ugly and lousy (not literally. Because I didn't have lice).

The only thing I was remotely proud of was the fact that I didn't have to study much to wing exams and get okay/good grades. And the fact that that made me a little better off than my cousins that side of the family (I know, I know, pride comes before a fall, yada yada). And also how my adult relatives thought I was hardworking and all that but I really wasn't - I don't know, it sorta gave me an edge over them, knowing that they were wrong about something; these things empower powerless fat kids -, plus the fact that some of them asked my mother for tips to help their kids get into top schools and there really weren't any tips (my mum was like 'uh she doesn't even study much, I don't know') because other than Chinese tuition (horrible, I know. I used to copy the answers off the back of assessment books when my mother was bathing) and the run-of-the-mill assessment books and exam papers (from other schools. Can't believe my mother bought them and I actually did them as instructed) there really wasn't any miracle-causing pill or whatever.

I don't know how I got from boring business writing to my future, to this full-blown whine-fest. It's 10.44 already? Unbelievable. Anyway don't get me wrong, I really love my sister despite her penchant for hair products and clothes-shopping (but I don't love my relatives (that side, I repeat). I mean, you can't love such people even though they are related to you. Sure, I respect their authority, despite them never earning it from me, because inherently older relatives command that respect whether you like it or not, but I will never love them). And I am still learning how to be less judgmental of others so that'll have to take some time. I also should seriously consider cutting down my usage of brackets.

I'd be awfully surprised (in a pleasant way, I mean), if you've managed to reach this part of the page after all my ramblings. I guess I need to achieve some sort of mental catharsis because I'm leaving this room after almost a year and hell I'm going to miss it. I know a room is just a room, but heck I've managed to attribute some emotions to it.

I hate traveling with bulky stuff. Fuck.

Okay I've got to go now if I want to get home in time to come back to hall. How friggin' fun. Oh by the way, sorry about any typos. If you're half as anal as I am about grammar and spelling you're probably going to flip. But I don't know, I didn't proofread this (believe it or not I usually proofread my entries if I'm not too tired. I am anal-retentive, obviously. Even though this concept isn't on acknowledged in contemporary psychology).

Chip ★ Choo ♥ Cecilia ★ Judy ♥ Linette & Yingxian ★ Jiayin ♥ Vina ★ Skins ♛ Twitter ☁ Blogger ☢ Facebook ☠ Tumblr ♐

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