Vivien ♀ Twenty one (21) English Literature Major ✎ A Gleek ♬ I love you like a love song

I just realised the term "uncaring spirits" makes me sound as though I have a bunch of indifferent ghost pals hanging out with me. I meant to say something along the lines of how I'm not doing anything kind or caring or beneficial to society now. I should be somewhere building libraries or bio-fuel tanks, but between being broke and being friendless, I don't really have the opportunity or motivation to do that.

Besides everyone knows that going overseas to help people, although commendable and, uh, noble, is also simultaneously an excuse to go overseas and have fun with friends, or at least experience something different. I guess if you really wanted to help people but didn't have the money to there are the poor and destitute in Singapore too, and they are way more accessible.

I had a lot of fun in Yunnan, but honestly I don't think I contributed a lot beyond clearing the field and, uh, playing with the kids. The only beneficial thing I remember contributing towards is the evergreen topic of Soke May and the macho village chief, aka 村长. And maybe giving myself a new nickname (vomiting Vivien).

Yeah enough blogging, my failures in life are bringing me down. Chocolates! Brownies! Me eating chocolates and brownies.

Everyone's off doing meaningful things in other countries, like building wells or teaching children, and here I am blogging about my mundane life and my uncaring spirits. The kindest things I do are giving money to flag day volunteers and giving up seats to old people; what am I doing with my life?

And it's not even money I've earned, it's pocket money. I'm twenty and- yeah okay, slippery slope of despair here. Think happy thoughts! Chocolate! Brownies! Me eating chocolates and brownies. Yum.

Last week in choir I was supposed to be teaching them some new pieces, but I played the first few notes and completely lost my head because I was reminded of how bad I was at playing the piano and I had a minor freak out in front of the sopranos. In the end the student conductor took over and helped me teach the piece.

I probably should rein in my anxiety better, huh?

I recently dreamt that Chip and I were in Japan, and she was on the run from someone who was trying to sell her as a child slave. We were trying to escape by running into dark alleyways and decrepit buildings, but it was dark and we didn't speak the language, so we decided to crash in Choo's small apartment. So effectively Choo was harbouring a fugitive, but all I could care about was whether she had dry bathrobes and towels for us.

Then there were fireworks being set off somewhere in the vicinity, and I was happy I was with friends.

I need a job man.

DISCLAIMER: This post will probably not make much sense because I was kinda just freely typing out every single unconnected shit.

Let me jut be a bitch for a while, okay? I was having choir practice (on a Sunday! I would believe in God if there was a Universal law declaring Sundays as the holy no-crap day, but since there isn't) and it was a few of us from the school choir and a whole bunch of these outside choral group people. Me being a loser is not the point though, since you all know all about that. Point is, I was the only one in the section from my choir, so I ended up sitting beside two of the biggest choir geeks I've ever met in my life.

Not literally the biggest, mind you, that'll be me if I ever met myself. Uh. Okay digressing.

So, they were having conversations about getting a vibrato and their breath capacity and they were singing these high pitched thingies while we were having a break. From the, you know, singing. Gawd. Seriously. I know I don't have a life, and I know, sure, they're just being passionate and the shizz, but it's a Sunday! I'm supposed to be at home doing nothing! But noooo I had to seat beside them while they went on about how geeky they were.

I guess the reason for all the crabby bitchiness is that it reminded me of the sort of people I hated when I was in choir the last time. Like, stop with your enthusiasm! Leave me alone! I don't want to hear you rattle on and on about how you love choir! SHUT UP.

Plus it was a Sunday.

And now I'm at the risk of turning into one of them choir geeks. Which I don't fucking want to. Which may be another reason why I don't hang around with them more, because I don't really want to hate choir now. I'm just overwhelmed by really enthusiastic people, unless, y'know, they're interested in overtly time-wasting things like Pokémon, video games and things which aid in the art of slacking. I guess there's this gene in me which makes me nauseated and uncomfortable when I'm around people who are driven, excited about academia, excited about CCAs (GEEKS), super enthusiastic and, yeah, the list goes on. I can't do it, because it's like turning me into someone I'm not. I read Choo's semi-reply about my asocial (not antisocial. Different) post awhile ago, and I must say, I never really ever put in too much effort in making friends. I mean it's all serendipitous that I made good friends, because of being in the same class, or having the same breaks, or, like, hanging out in the same group. Oh, and something in common to gripe about. I know I'm horribly ungrammatical here, but eh whatever it's almost 3. The main difference between now and then is the fact that these things don't exist anymore; we don't have a group to hang out with in University, we don't often have same classes with people, and we don't have much to gripe about to other people. And oh, another difference is that now I consciously try to avoid other people because I no longer have a group to hang out with.

It takes that much more effort to have a good friend now than it did. And I feel like I'm on the brink of depression, because you know how that's defined as a loss of feeling and motivation and emotion? Yeah I don't even feel anything much nowadays, and I'm living vicariously through watching Friends. And when I have to go out for choir I just feel bummed out that the world didn't end yesterday and I still have to do things and go out and spend money and meet people. And I don't even feel like doing anything at all. Anything.

It's horrible.

If I don't blog for a while you'd have to forgive me because I have nothing going on in my life. It's stagnant. If my life were a puddle there'd be mosquito larvae all over it, and you'd all die of the dengue and the stagnation of the water and maybe I need to stop sleeping at 4 every night because it's turning me into a morbid, macabre, obese, oily, obnoxious, whiny, lethargic, unmotivated, I AM LOOKING FOR A WORD HERE BUT I CAN'T THINK OF IT person.

And recently I feel like deactivating my FB account. I don't even have a good reason for it. Usually when I type out such extremely self-hating posts I'd hesitate because I don't want to seem like a bigger loser than I already am, but screw that I am that big a loser and there's nothing anyone can do to make it better and I'd rather have the world end, maybe just for me if you still want to live, because I sure wouldn't want to deprive you of a happy life. I am useless. I need to sleep. I need some happy hormones and like, a life. GAWD why is it so hot I thought it was going to rain ugh.

LOSER LOSER LOSER I AM A BIG FAT LOSER. WHY? I DON'T KNOW. BYE.

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

You know what my biggest fantasy is? To leave and go to somewhere where nobody knows me, disconnect myself (that means you, Facebook!) and burn all bridges, and hobo my life away.

I am in the state of being where I'm asocial and pathetic again. You know how I have these choir practices and they're in small groups (because it's the holidays and only losers go for CCAs in the holidays) and it's much harder to leave the room after practice ends unnoticed. But anyway I usually try to sneak away when people are packing and chatting, but you know, there's only one bus stop near the building which has buses which go out of school, so what I do is I usually walk all the way to the number 10 bus stop a distance away just so I don't have to go home with other people.

But this time it was around 9 and I really didn't want to walk, so I walked to the bus stop before the one in front of the building so I could, y'know, not meet anyone. Of course that didn't happen and I boarded the bus which two other choir friends were going to board on the next stop which was exactly what I was trying to avoid because talking drains me out. Long story short (not much shorter), but when we got to the MRT station I told them I was going to buy food from the mall mainly so that I wouldn't have to make small talk on the train. One of them lives in Pasir Ris, and it is a long ride. Oh and I was quite hungry too, so, hey, BreadTalk.

It's not like I don't like them but I really cannot do the whole talking thing again. And honestly, I think I'm saving them the trouble because this way they wouldn't have to make small talk with me! I'm not an interesting person to talk to anyway. When I don't know a person I tend to be wholly reactionary; when they ask a question, I answer. And sometimes, when I'm mildly interested in the conversation partner I'd ask some questions but mostly that's too much work on my part. It's win-win; I get to be alone, and said person doesn't have to make small talk!

I mean, sure, I don't make any new friends that way, but hey, I have this theory that if you're meant to be good friends something just clicks (or, at least, the Universe conspires to let you all become good friends) such that you don't have the burning desire to not speak to the person. Besides, there's this old prejudice I have against people in choir committees, despite being in it myself.

Which reminds me, when I was in Sec 1 there was this really grumpy senior who had this face brimming with bad attitude every choir practice, and being 13 I thought, whoa, bad attitude! Then as time passed I became one of those people who really abhorred choir and everything to do with it (from the gown, to the committee, to the practices), and now, in retrospect, I probably was giving that impression to my juniors too. The circle of life, huh?

This is really bad though, my whole "leave me alone!" outlook in life, because, hey, people need friends and acquaintances! People need contacts and networks and friends (with friends) in high places, because these people get them somewhere in life! And people need new good friends in college/University because otherwise their just losers! But I don't. I'm an utter loser. Sure, I made some okay friends in hall, but we don't hang out on purpose and stuff, and it's just hi/bye now. And sure, I've made some okay friends in choir, because you can't hang out for a year without making friends even if you actively try to leave early and not speak unnecessarily. But I didn't make any good friends at all. It's like you see friends getting to make really close friends and you're like this loser who's too much of a loser to make any good friends.

I should stop watching Friends. It's making me contemplate too much about friends. Y'know, cos, the title and all. And I really should stop watching it till 3 in the morning because that's just bad for the skin. And health, but who cares about health, right?

I don't know what's worse, not having new good friends or not wanting any new good friends. I know I whine a lot about not having new good friends like others do, but you know what the thing is? I don't actually think I need them. It's weird. It's like someone who's ignorant but is completely ignorant about being ignorant. I really don't want to make new good friends. Friends are okay, hi/bye acquaintances are okay too, but I don't see the pressing need for me to expand my "social circle", which, by the way, is a term I don't like. Sure, sure, there are all those findings about how people with more friends live a longer and happier life, but I don't really want a long life. I could do with "happy", which is such an arbitrary term anyway, but everyone knows people only really live when they're not happy. Who wants to hear the story of happy people anyway? That's boring. People want pain, and suffering, and heroics. Or, at least, people love whining about being in pain and suffering and being heroic. That's the stuff bad poetry's made of. That and overindulgent description.

And because I'm such a closet therapist, I think I know what my problem is. I like being unable to make friends. I like it that I have this social ineptitude which I can capitalise on to make it sound like I have this problem in my life, because otherwise my life is just sooooooo boring. I like it that I can make it sound as though I'm not just a normal mundane person because I'm tortured by my insecurities and incapability, and I get a kick out of thinking that I'm different from those well-adjusted individuals who can make friends in a snap, because I'm so tortured and conflicted on the inside. Man I'm sick.

It's like narcissism, but different.

I really am rather narcissistic. Come on, I have a blog. That's flippin' narcissistic enough. The fact that no one reads it is another thing altogether. I complain a lot about how I'm not capable in making friends because I'm so socially inept, but that's just because I want to make it seem as though I'm different, and on Facebook I just keep whining and posting status updates about my boring life because I want someone to comment on them (but that's everybody, so I shall not belabour the point).

Of course there are other forms of narcissism which both my sister and I hate, which is the Facebook status updates which were supposedly posted by friends who "hacked" into their accounts. Yes, last time I checked, hacked didn't effing mean "left Facebook logged in on laptop", and paraphrasing my sister, you could have easily deleted the status update, but noooo what do you do, you post another message saying "MY ACCOUNT WAS HACKED BY MY FRIENDZZZZ THAT WASN'T ME" oh puh-lease, get that out of my elite, uncaring newsfeed, will you? That's the kind of narcissism I cannot stand, because like always, I prefer my narcissism with some subtlety and finesse. If you can't do that for me, then get outta ma face.

Which is why I like sarcasm, you know? It's subtle to the gullible/ignorant, and that's why it's funny. Yes, it's mean too, but it's definitely funny. I've always wanted to get into an argument with someone just so I can use my snarky sarcasm, but so far my mellow demeanour hasn't gotten me into any arguments yet, so.

I'm so bored at home. I'm even bored when I'm supposed to be sleepy (like, now, 3.50am). I was thinking maybe I should give the dusty old guitar a good dusting and maybe tune it. And then fiddle with it and play the 8 chords (or so) that I know. Yes, I do have a guitar. Sheesh, pay attention to my old blog posts, will you?

Oh and I need to pack a room. A list!

THINGS TO DO SO YOU WON'T DIE OF BOREDOM (you=me):

1. Pack room because I swear a litter of puppies could be living in my piles of junk and I wouldn't even know it.

2. But black shirt/black pants, because there's thing choir thing. In other words, see money fly away!

3. Tune guitar

4. Bitch about being bored and how the weather's hot on Facebook. Be narcissistic on Facebook, subtly.

5. S/U computing

6. Stop sleeping at 4

7. Donate blood

8. Stop being an idiot

In other news, I've watched Up twice this week on Disney Channel. Call me a weenie but the movie never fails to make me teary-eyed.

And as a disclaimer, I don't actually dislike choir and/or anyone in it. But come on, it's choir! I used to be a huge (literally, because, have you seen me in the pink dress?, and figuratively) rebel in choir! I can't just suddenly like it without any of my old biases resurfacing. That'll be like a total lobotomish move. And obviously I can't be pals with people who love choir because of that old prejudice; it's just wrong. My people are the ones with bad attitude and sulky faces, man! Power to the people!

Yeah. Anyway in primary school we used to have PETS textbook, but in my sister's time I think they used some "My Pals are Here" textbook (which is like, totally lame, right? Like, totally!) and my mum pronounced it as "my piles are here", which I thought was pretty funny, because, you know, piles->embarrassing butt ailments->haha.

Right.

Didn't proofread, booya!

Ah glorious heat! It brings out the vulgarity in me. I miss playing at playgrounds. Sorry for this lackluster post, I haven't got anything interesting to blog about at all, besides whining about how friggin' hot it is and how I've got no life. But now that the choir overseas competition is cancelled due to poor response, I don't have to worry about not having enough money in my bank account. I know, I know, I'm always making big talk about being a hobo and stuff, but I still need money.

I am so boring, aren't I? Maybe I'll pack my room tomorrow. It's in such a horrible state now I believe that some creatures might have evolved in the piles of junk everywhere. Need a life, need to pack my room, need money. Maybe it is better that the world ends. It's like giving up, but not really because it's not my choice.

Ugh choir.

ANYWAY! NO MORE PAPERS! I had a hot date with Judy after our papers. AWESOMENESS.

WARNING: BLOGGER IS GOING TO RAMBLE ENTIRELY ABOUT THE GENERAL ELECTIONS. YOU PROBABLY DON'T CARE WHAT SHE THINKS, BECAUSE MOST OF THE TIME HER VIEWS ARE STUPID. DON'T BOTHER.

I was watching the Channel 8 news last night (not The Noose), and they had this piece about online support for NSP's Nicole Seah and PAP's Tin Pei Ling. They mentioned this page and said it was a page showing support for Tin. They even showed screengrabs of "supporters" posing in her now-iconic cute pose, holding various things like plastic bags and a pack of diapers.

Apparently the people who wrote this piece don't understand the idea of sarcasm. Either that or they are covertly supporting the sarcasm on this page and subverting the system by being sarcastic themselves. That would be really astounding, but I don't have that much faith in the mainstream media just yet.

Last night, I wrote a really long post trying to clear my thoughts about the elections and the parties, but I decided against finishing it because it was too much work. Besides, it seems almost impossible to reach a sound conclusion, because there are so many factors to consider. It's not like I can vote this year.

I just finished listening to PM Lee's Lunchtime Rally, where he apologised twice (or so) for the mistakes and shortcomings of the government (or PAP? I've forgotten) and how it can do better. It must be very humbling for a PM to apologise to the public, right? I don't actually think he is inept or bad, but he just had to be the unlucky one in charge of the generation of PAP which committed several highly publicised flubs. He also argued that (sorry for this sort of essay-writing prose. Haven't quite gotten over the exams) the party/government would try to do its best to listen to what the people are saying on the ground. In effect he makes several promises, and towards to the end he appeals to the "idealistic" and "well-educated" people of Singapore who want something to believe in and fight for.

I don't know about you, but I think that was a good speech, as it appeals to voters by using a softer tone different from the run-of-the-mill speeches exemplifying all various noble things (upgrading! Walking 30 blocks and markets, TWICE!) the party has done and/or the typical holier-than-thou stance taken by a number of people representing the party. It is obviously a calculated move, but from what I hear it really seems quite sincere, actually.

The thing is, there are still areas which can be much better. I'm not from a lower-income group, and I've definitely enjoyed several privileges which others may have missed out on (education, sufficient disposable income- for now-, more than enough of the material, etc.), so I can't give any personal accounts of hardship and despair. I do, however, believe in freedom of speech, gay rights, an unbiased (at least in terms of political inclinations) press, true democracy (which the threats used against voters totally go against, because we are all under the same government and bear the same burdens independent of voting results, so why do they get treated with less care?) and the right to not fear the government if you are not doing anything illegal (some people fear that their votes are not secret, which has to be the most ludicrous thing ever. This shows how the past arrests and detainment of "communist"/"Marxist" parties (without trial), among other things, have spread a fear of dissent in some people, even though their dissent may not be wrong). In these areas I believe we could improve greatly upon; I don't think opening up in these areas would lead to a full-blown disaster, because we are, as is oft claimed, "well-educated" by the "world-class" education system, and are more rational and sophisticated as a people.

I digress, but I don't think I want to work in Singapore's media industry, because despite some signs of decreasing bias, there still exists a high degree of state control, and there is still suppression of viewpoints and/or self-censorship, which isn't very healthy. If I were to write anything at all, I wouldn't want to be an instrument for the state to exercise control over people, because despite all the postmodern gloom shrouding contemporary literature, writers we study in literature modules do believe in the power of the individual, and the power of words- I don't want to use words to oppress/mislead people, because it betrays everything I believe in. Of course I'm not saying the press is that bad, because my stint in it proves that journalists are not mindless idiots, and we do try to present things as they are, but between the omissions (there was this instance where people gathered to support the gay cause in Singapore, the Pink Dot rally or something, and it was totally omitted by the local mainstream media. 2500 people turned up, so it was sure as hell news-worthy- in fact much more newsworthy than many of the things we see in the papers on slow news days. Yes, the fact that this was permitted says something about the strides we are taking as a nation, but the omission of such an unprecedented event points to the tight grip the system has on the media) and the self-censorship I'd say there still exists elements of playing to the state and withholding information from the people, something I vehemently (on this blog HAHA) object to.

Besides this, there's also the bugbear I have with the untested "4th generation" candidates they've introduced. The fact that they'll probably make it into the parliament riding on the coattails of more powerful and capable leaders pisses me off to no end. I'm not actually a fan of NSP's young (I mean I'm younger than she is, but she is relatively young) Nicole Seah; I admire her guts and her fierce passion when she speaks, but she used some rather xenophobic rhetoric and I don't particularly buy that. She also states that she doesn't know the MPs in some constituencies (a point about the MPs not being that personable after all), which may simply be a shot at them and not true, but it undermines her somewhat- a politician who doesn't know her opponents? Yeah but my point is, I can hear the passion and fire in her speeches, and admire her balls of steel, even though I don't agree with all her rhetoric. Anyway after this whole digression, you probably know I'm going to lead on to Tin's speech, because no matter what, there is no doubt that the two are supposed to be juxtaposed against each other (same constituency, similar ages, both not from the elite class). I watched both their rally speeches, because you've got to be fair if you want to comment on their differences. While I can hear the fire in Seah, I find Tin's speech rather similar to the toastmaster (read: exaggerated) style of speech-giving. The fact that she spends the first half minute or so talking about her walking the grounds and visiting the markets twice (and having the aunties recognise her. Wow) puts me off her speech. Yes, it's tiring, and you probably have worked hard in these walkabouts, but spending forty seconds on this supposed feat isn't doing anything to help your image, because you come across rather self-congratulatory. People are like,


I actually believe Tin wants to serve the community, or at least doesn't mean any harm (despite her gaffes and her apparent liking of branded bags), even though I don't hear much sincerity in her speech (nerves? Rote memorisation?), which goes on after her "I WALKED A LOT" spiel to talk about how well the party has done and all successful policies and upgrades they have implemented, which doesn't tell you much about what she stands for. Instead we see her simply listing achievements, which isn't the point of rally speeches. I guess she needs to learn some speech writing/giving techniques, because this isn't working out. I think she is sincere (I mean she did volunteer for several years), and it's just not translating into her speeches. And the fact that she is well-liked and received by her fellow volunteers and the people she works with doesn't mean she's cut out to be an MP, because that requires some skills and nuance when handling/fielding questions from the media. Maybe more training and she'll do better next elections?

Point: The 4th gen politicians (at least the prominent ones) of the different parties have their flaws; it's extremely unfair that this one flawed and inexperienced person will most likely get into parliament despite her very apparent faults and her lack of experience/inability to inspire the public. This points to the flaws of the current GRC system and the process though which new MPs are elected, and there obviously needs to be a change.

Another extremely irritating element I've noticed is the overt discrediting of the opposition, one of the most obvious cases being that of two previous MPs' (since parliament isn't formed yet) insinuations of Hougang's funds being "messy", which was prominently featured in last night's news (as if the FB fanpage gaffe wasn't enough). Here's his reply to those statements, which I actually buy, because obviously the government is not so careless as to allow mismanagement of funds right under their noses. If there was a hint of that at all Low would have been arrested or dealt with faster that you can say, uh, "Majulah Singapura". They may not have been outright with accusations, but the fact that they said that and it was reported in the mainstream media leads to the question of whether it was a deliberate attempt to mislead viewers and an obvious attempt to discredit Low. Pardon the pun, but that's low, I mean as the ruling party with your capable ministers (not being sarcastic, many of them are very capable) surely you're above making such remarks.

Oh, and there's the thing about haughty, detached ministers not heeding the voices of the people, but that's been discussed to death, so I won't belabour the point (as I've been doing for the past too-many-to-bother paragraphs). I don't think the entire party is guilty of that, but there's no denying that we do get a feel of that many a times, when they use dismissive or condescending tones to speak to the people. No one likes snobs! There's no denying that there are people who are willing to reach out and listen to the myriad of voices on the ground, whiny or genuinely helpless. I just (just being a relative term) watched George Yeo's FB video, and call me an optimist, but I really think he is very sincere and that he actually cares for the people and what they say. He doesn't go all "I OWN YO ASS" and "I AM ALWAYS RIGHT" on us, and even though it can be construed as a purely political move (of course I won't deny that this is political), I honestly hear and feel his sincerity and his willingness to serve. You gotta respect someone like that.

There I go, belabouring the point.

Oh and I also respect MM Lee, despite the very loud oppositions heard online. I mean that guy gained the support and trust of the people, had balls of steel when dealing with matters like the merger and its failure, and led us despite the daunting circumstances. He sacrificed years of his life for this country, and that alone deserves respect whether you agree with his strong views or not. There are those dirty little secrets of political prisoners and lawsuits, which cannot be ignored, but I guess he thought the iron fist was needed that time, and any dissent would be horrible for Singapore's future. I don't think anyone feels good about destroying a person (I don't know, maybe clinical psychopaths?), he did what he thought he had to do, and it takes guts to do that. And obviously, he's shrewd and sharp in every decision he made, and you've got to hand it to him, because without him we most definitely wouldn't be thriving today.

But times change, and we cannot have a system similar to that of his time, because we've all evolved, and so have our needs. I guess the ruling party should realise that it is okay to have rational dissent and different voices, because without them you inevitably suffer from groupthink, or at least become so blinded by your past success that you think you're infallible and everything you touch turns to gold. It's scary when you see how they keep assuring the public that they represent the people's voices when some instances seem to suggest the opposite (Lily Neo vs recitation of policies by various MPs, brushing off of queries regarding the influx of foreigners: "IF NOT WHO BUILD YOUR HDB FLATS?"- a question to answer a question? Really? And also the recalcitrant attitude when discussing the issue of ministerial pay: "WE KNOW BEST IF NOT HIGH PAY WHERE GOT TALENT JOIN US?"; maybe you should trust that there are people who are not so money-minded and are willing to serve with passion and sincerity). How can we be sure that this wouldn't happen all the time?

Oh here I go appearing to be anti-PAP again. I'm not actually anti-PAP. Nor am I pro-PAP, pro-opposition (honestly, they could be better. Much better. I agree we need some opposing viewpoints in parliamentary debates, but I can't deny that some of the opposition propose populist policies which seem pretty in the short term but would probably prove debilitating in the long term- and make radical claims without evidence sometimes) or anti-opposition (some seem very capable and passionate, and it would be refreshing to see some new voices and talents in the parliament. And Chiam See Tong/Low Thia Khiang are capable in the fact that they've achieved wins against the ruling party in their estates for years despite sticks and carrots lashed at/dangled in front of the people. Power!). I am entirely for increased freedom and rights, and a more informed people as a whole (to withhold or misrepresent information given to the general public is simply unethical. I don't mean giving up state secrets, I mean giving the press the freedom to present different sides to issues, not merely the side the party approves of). While no government is perfect, not even the Platonic one (because how can philosopher kings ever know what ails the common man? How can they ensure that they won't be blinded by their perceived superiority and dismiss everyone else?), there are flaws which can be lessened or eradicated.

I am rather pro-anarchy though, because I think there's immense beauty in chaos, and from this chaos comes creation. Just to be clear I don't mean physical or literal anarchy, just freedom of information and freedom to speak and act without irrational fear, and in the ensuing chaos of views and voices perhaps something awesome would be created. Okay, veering off to abstract terms and stupidity. It's 4 already WTF.

Actually I'm hesitating to post this. First because it'll probably lose me any readership I have left, and second because this seems too much like something the system censors. Then again, I don't think I've made any unfair/slanderous claims, so my conscience is clear. If someone knocks on my door at 4am taking me to prison, uh, make me a Facebook fanpage please.

Chip ★ Choo ♥ Cecilia ★ Judy ♥ Linette & Yingxian ★ Jiayin ♥ Vina ★ Skins ♛ Twitter ☁ Blogger ☢ Facebook ☠ Tumblr ♐

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